Hogwarts Overkill
by Kir C
Summary: With the resurrection of the dark lord, Dumbledore has decided that its time to hire professionals to guard Hogwarts, the only problem is that the team he gets is far from his idea of professional, watch as Hogwarts is protected by some of the most powerful and quirky ninja yet. Post war Naruto, begins in order of the phoenix. Rated M for possible future gore and swearing
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Meetings

Albus Dumbledore let out a sigh as he glanced at the members of the order of the phoenix, taking a second breath to calm his nerves, he silently prepared himself for the inevitable outburst from the numerous order members. "I am sure that you all are wondering why I have called you to Grimmauld Place, but before that I ask you to please hold your questions until the end." Albus began, drawing questioning looks from the order members.

"Now where do I begin, aah yes, I think the beginning would do nicely." Albus thought aloud while ran his hand through his beard, before turning his attention back towards the crowd in front of him. "When I was a young lad I travelled to numerous places, you believe you could call it a vacation." Albus cleared his throat before continuing. "Around halfway through my vacation, I had gotten my hands on a portkey that would take me to a new destination, but the portkey was faulty and instead of taking me to France, it took me to an entirely different world."

"What do you mean, another world, this is the only world, isn't it?" Molly Weasley's voice sounded from the back of the room.

"I thought so too until that day, from my current understanding, there are numerous other worlds, but that is an entirely different matter." Albus replied. "Now where was I... I had appeared in another world, the first thing I noticed was that I was in a forest. Not knowing what had happened, I decided explore, but before I could go anywhere, I found myself surrounded by a group of men and women wearing animal masks, they ordered me to follow them and I complied. The masked group led me towards a large red building, it was there that I met their leader, the Hokage, Tobirama Senju."

"That's all very interesting Albus, but what has that got to do with our current situation?" Mad eye Moody asked gruffly.

"I'm sorry, I guess I should have gotten to the point quicker. In short, I found out that I was in a village filled with Shinobi as they called themselves. Shinobi, from my understanding are mercenaries. They would do any mission for the right price, from guarding to assassinations." Albus said loudly.

"Why are you telling us this?" Sirius asked quietly, worried about what Albus was getting at.

"The moment I returned to our world, I immediately began looking for ways to travel back and I finally found it last year during the triwizard tournament. I wanted to hire them as guards during the tournament, but there was a problem, their world was quickly heading to a world war and they were not sending any more shinobi on long term missions and so I couldn't hire any of them. I have kept in contact and have found that they are now stable enough to start sending out shinobi on long term missions again."

"Albus, don't tell me that you're thinking about hiring them, if everything that you've told us is true, then they are murderers, that is not an evil that should be allowed anywhere near children." Sirius said loudly.

"I will not allow my children to be in the company of murderers." Molly bellowed

"They will not be a threat to any of the students." Albus replied evenly.

"You've already hired them, haven't you?" Moody asked suddenly.

Albus sighed deeply, this meeting wasn't going as he had hoped it would. "Yes... Yes I have."

"When can we expect them?" moody asked.

"They will arrive in a week." Albus replied.

Konohagakure no sato

It was a peaceful day in Konoha, the birds were chirping and the streets were filled civilians, happily chatting with one another, yes, a very peaceful day. A sudden boom sounded through the village, accompanied by the ground shaking, immediately bringing the peaceful day to a halt. If one were to look into the distance, they would find the odd sight of a giant golden fox fighting with an equally large ox like creature.

A frightened little girl clung to her mother's shirt, glancing up, she found a pink haired teenager heading towards the cause of the disturbance. "M...Miss, what's happening?" The little girl stuttered, frightened by the small panic that the noise had caused.

The pink haired teenager turned towards the child, her green eyes locking onto the brown eyes of the child, she gave a kind smile. "Don't worry sweety, it's just two idiots acting like idiots." She said, before heading back towards the disturbance.

Arriving at the destination, the pink haired teenager looked up, towards the golden fox construct. "NARUTOOOOOOOOO." She yelled, immediately drawing his attention.

The golden fox immediately began to shrink until it finally disappeared, leaving behind a blonde haired blue eyed teenage boy. "Sakura-chan." Naruto greeted the pinkette, jogging towards her as he waved his greeting.

"BAKA." Sakura yelled, immediately slamming her fist into Naruto's face, sending him flying off into what remained of the woods. "Do you know what kind of trouble you and Bee are causing in the village, I swear that you became more immature after the war, Why can't you act more mature, I swear..." Sakura began her rant.

The ox like creature behind Sakura shook its head as it slowly began shrinking. "Fool, ya fool." It muttered as it finally took the form of a tall dark skinned man.

After a few more punches, a battered Naruto entered the Hokage's office, accompanied by Killer Bee and Sakura.

Tsunade blinked at Naruto's condition. "I was going to punch you myself, but I see that someone already did that." She said, glancing at a battered Naruto and a smiling Sakura. "Now that you're here there's someth..." Tsunade began, but was interrupted.

"ELBOW." A loud yell sounded through the room as Bee smashed through the wall next to the door. "Bee, what were you thinking fighting in your biju mode near a village, especially when we were about to have the five kage meeting." The Raikage yelled before dragging Bee back into the Hokage's office.

Tsunade sighed at the broken wall before refocusing her thoughts. "As I was saying." Tsunade said, bringing the rooms attention back on her. "I was recently contacted by a man named Albus Dumbledore."

"Never heard of him." Naruto commented, before immediately shut up at the glare Tsunade was giving him.

"You wouldn't have heard of him before, he's from another world." Tsunade continued, her glare still on Naruto, almost daring him to interrupt her again. "He requested a year long mission to guard his school and seeing as both you and Bee so graciously decided to volunteer for the mission, the Raikage and I think it best that the two of you start packing." Tsunade smirked.

Naruto stood silently as he processed what Tsunade had told him. 'That's not so bad, a year long vacation and all I have to do is guard a school, it will be like a vacation, but there are a few things I will miss, like Sakura-chan and Kakashi-sensei and Konohamaru and... and... and...' Naruto began to pale rapidly. "ICHIRAKU RAMEN, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO." Naruto wailed, sinking to his knees tears streamed down his face as he let out a sob.

"There will likely be a ninja from each of the five hidden villages joining you on this mission, there is also a... additional person that will be joining you on the mission." Tsunade frowned at the thought of the additional person joining the mission. "You may enter now."

The window behind the Hokage's desk opened a man slowly entered the room. At the sight of the man, Sakura gasped before covering it with her hand, Naruto's mouth hung open as he pointed towards the man, even Bee raised an eyebrow as he stared at the man.

"It's good to see you all again, especially you, Naruto-kun." The man began, a smile stretched across his pale face, making him look even more menicing.

"Orochimaru?" Naruto whispered as he stared at the snake sannin.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Hello all, This is my second Chapter of Hogwarts Overkill and I have to say that I was surprised by how many of you decided to favourite and follow my story. This is my first fanfiction so please enjoy and if you want, tell me what you think of it, you could even point out errors that I may have made in this. If you got the second chapter and it was a duplicate of the first one or with buggy website code in it, sorry about that. I'm still getting used to this website and I'm still learning how to use it. Enough of that, please enjoy the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter in this universe, but I'm not certain that I don't own it in another universe.

* * *

Chapter 2: A change of pace

'This is the life.' Sirius thought as he leaned into his chair, nursing a glass of Ogden's old Firewhisky in his right hand. 'Nothing could ruin this moment right now.' Sirius closed his eyes as he basked in the warmth provided by his fire place. "Yep, nothing." With that sentence, the fire began to flicker before turning a solid green. "Damnit, I just had to jinx it, didn't I." Sirius lamented as Albus Dumbledore stepped through the fire.

"Sirius, We will be having an emergency Order meeting within the hour, please gather the weasley family." Albus said as he pulled out a foot long length of rope from his robes.

"Dumbledore, what's going on, why are we having an emergency meeting?" Sirius asked suddenly.

"I think it better that you don't know until they are on their way." Albus replied cryptically, placing the rope on Sirius's side table that held his bottle of Ogden's old Firewhisky.

"Who's on their way?" Sirius asked, growing angry at Albus avoiding his questions.

Albus momentarily ignored Sirius in favour of the rope, pointing his wand at the length of rope, he muttered a few words under his breath before letting out a sigh. "Sirius, if I tell you and you decide to go there yourself, you will be doing more harm than good. I will tell you, but you must swear that you will not leave this house until they arrive." Albus said, his eyes peering into Sirius's.

For a moment, Sirius wanted to argue, but he realised that Dumbledore would not tell him anything unless he swore that he wouldn't leave the house. "Fine, I swear that I won't leave the house until they arrive, whoever they are." Sirius swore.

Albus placed a letter on top of the rope before taking a step back. "Hokage." Albus announced and the length of rope disappeared, along with the letter, the Firewhisky and the table.

"I wasn't finished drinking that." Sirius moaned, as he glanced at the place where his precious Firewhisky once stood.

"Sorry about that. The portkey used to travel to another world tends to pull more than intended." Albus apologised, before he sighed. "The reason why I did not want to tell you about the emergency Order meeting is because it involves Harry." Dumbledore said, immediately gaining Sirius's attention.

"What about Harry, is he alright?" Sirius asked worriedly.

"He is fine Sirius. Earlier today a pair of Dementors attacked him, but he managed to fend them off with the Patronus charm, he is being moved here for his own safety." Dumbledore raised his hand to stop Sirius from interrupting. "Rest assured that he is being transported by Alastor Moody and he is safe."

Feeling a bit calmer at the mention of Alastor Moody fetching Harry, Sirius began to wonder what Dumbledore had done to his Firewhisky. "What about that piece of rope, you mentioned that it was a portkey." Sirius said.

Albus sighed, it seemed that sighing was all he was doing nowadays. "The Dementor attack has made it necessary for the shinobi to arrive sooner, that letter was to ask them to prepare a team." Albus explained.

"How soon will they get here?" Sirius asked grimly, still not liking the idea of hiring murderers to protect them from murderers.

"Hopefully before the Order meeting." Albus replied immediately.

* * *

Konohagakure no sato

"WHAT THE HELL." A loud male voice echoed through the village originating from the Hokage Residence. "WHY DO I HAVE TO GO ON A MISSION WITH OROCHIMARU?" The voice yelled again.

"SHUT UP." A distinctly female voice yelled before what was thought to be an explosion sounded through the village.

Within the Hokage's office stood an angry blonde woman standing in front of a human shaped hole. "Get in here before I punch you again." Tsunade ordered, before moving back to her seat.

"H...Hai." Naruto replied, slowly pulling himself through the hole in the wall.

"The reason Orochimaru will be going on this mission is due to two people. The client and you, Naruto." Tsunade said.

"Huh?" Naruto wondered what he had to do with Orochimaru going on a mission with him.

Tsunade nursed her forehead as she recalled the events that led to Orochimaru going on the mission. She began to explain the events that led up to Orochimaru going on the mission with Naruto.

Flashback start

 _Tsunade downed her sake as she considered the mission in front of her, a mission requested by an elderly man by the name of Albus Dumbledore, the same man that her granduncle had told her about when she was a kid. The mission that sat in front of her was an S-Rank year long mission in another world. The mission itself wasn't what was bothering her, Tsunade was bothered by the fact that she couldn't feel any chakra from the elderly man when he requested the mission yet she had seen him do things that wouldn't be possible without chakra, or some other kind of energy. Resolving herself to think about the strange man later, Tsunade reached into her draw before pulling out a jar of sake and a pair of cups. "What do you want, Orochimaru?" Tsunade asked as she poured the sake into the cups._

 _"Kukuku, I never could hide from you for too long, could I."Orochimaru replied, before dropping down from the ceiling. Grabbing one of the cups, he nodded his thanks to Tsunade. "It's not what I want, but what I can do for you if you would let me."_

 _"And what can you do for me?" Tsunade asked before taking a sip from her sake._

 _"I can help you with a few of your other worldly problem." Orochimaru said, gaining Tsunade's attention. "And your Maito Gai problem."_

 _"So you were here when I was meeting Dumbledore, I'm not surprised. What I do want to know is how you can help me with Gai."Tsunade replied._

 _"I can fix Gai's leg." Orochimaru began._

 _"Bullshit, not even I can fix that. The only reason Gai is alive is because of Naruto healing him in that second sage mode of his, if he couldn't fix Gai when he was like that, I doubt anything could." Tsunade interrupted Orochimaru._

 _"I thought so too, opening all eight gates and using the Night Gai, I thought nothing could heal that, but then I remembered something else. After the Night Gai, most of Madara's upper body was destroyed, the only reason it didn't kill him was because it was a little too far to the right. Do you remember what happened after that though, Madara regenerated that entire part of his body. Madara regenerating half his upper body shows that it's possible to fix Gai who's wound isn't as bad as Madara's was."_

 _Tsunade considered what Orochimaru had to say and found that he was right, if Madara could regenerate a huge portion of his body, then they could find a way to regenerate Gai's leg. "And what do you want out of all of the?" Tsunade asked, cautious of what Orochimaru would ask for in return._

 _"Kukuku, you're always so cautious Tsunade." Orochimaru commented. "I am a scientist Tsunade. Knowing how things work and how to apply them is why I do the things that I do." Orochimaru continued. "I will help you heal Gai on two conditions. The first condition is that I be allowed on the mission in the other world, I would like to study the beings of that world." Orochimaru let out a chuckle as he thought about all the secrets that the elderly man's body contained._

 _"So long as you follow the mission parameters and you don't harm the client, I have no problem. What's the other condition?" Tsunade asked, ignoring Orochimaru's evil sounding chuckle_

 _"The second condition is more of a necessity. Before you completely refuse my condition let me tell you that I have no problem working in front of you or anyone you deem fit, I would even allow you to do it, so long as I learn how it works." Orochimaru explained._

 _"What's the second condition Orochimaru?" Tsunade demanded._

 _"I will need to study someone with a healing factor. There is only one person that I know of that can heal at a similar rate to Madara. I need to study Uzumaki Naruto to figure out how to fix Gai."_

Flashback End

Tsunade still remembered the argument that followed that conversation, how she almost got into a fight with Orochimaru and how he convinced her that Naruto would not be harmed in Orochimaru's attempt to study his healing factor.

Out of nowhere, a small table popped into existence startling all the inhabitants in the room, on it was a bottle of what appeared to be whisky, a piece of rope and a small letter. Snatching the letter off of the table, Tsunade tore it open before reading the short letter.

 _Hokage-sama_

 _Something has recently happened and I am in need of your shinobi sooner than expected, I will happily compensate you for any grievances I may have caused by rushing the mission .Please send your shinobi within the hour. When they are ready, have them hold this rope and say Grimmauld place, they will be transported to my location._

 _I hope this letter finds you well,_

 _Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore_

'He was in a rush.' Tsunade thought as she looked over a few ink stains on the paper. "It appears that there has been a change of plans. I had hoped to send a ninja from each nation with you, but apparently they need you there now."Tsunade said, grabbing some paper she began to write a letter of her own. "If there are any supplies that you need, fetch them now as you will not get the chance later." Ignoring Naruto's moans of how he wanted to have a few more bowls of ramen before he left, Tsunade turned to Bee. "I realise that we are not in Kumo so you can't just fetch something from your home, but do you need anything before you go?" Tsunade asked.

Bee smirked. "I'm A Okay Hokage." He rapped.

"And you?" Tsunade directed her gaze to Orochimaru.

"I have everything that I need." Orochimaru replied, patting his stomach.

"Naruto, go fetch your supplies." Tsunade ordered.

"Hai Baa-chan." Naruto gave a mock salute before he raced out of the room, heading towards his apartment

"Disrespectful brat." Tsunade muttered, smiling at Naruto's antics.


	3. Chapter 3

An: Hello again, this is my third chapter of Hogwarts Overkill. I'm happy that so many of you find my story interesting, thanks to all those who have Favorited and Followed my story and thank you to those who have reviewed my story. Now without further delay, here is the third chapter of my story. Please enjoy and if you like, tell me what you think of it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter, but I often imagine that I do.

* * *

Chapter 3: When worlds collide

Harry Potter had been having a bad summer. It all started with the death of his friend Cedric Diggory and the resurrection of the dark lord Voldemort. When school had ended and he returned to the Dursley, Harry found the majority of his possessions locked away in the cupboard underneath the stairs and to make it worse, his friends were seemingly hiding things from him. 'If I didn't hide my wand in my clothing, then both Dudley and I would be dead.' Harry thought as he remembered the Dementor attack. Receiving a letter from the ministry that literally told him that he was expelled from Hogwarts for underage magic in front of a muggle was just icing on the cake for harry/

The only good thing that came from Harry's summer was being taken to Grimmauld Place, Sirius's home. Entering the house, Harry found that the name of it perfectly described what it looked like inside, it was grim, it was old and it was dusty. Harry found himself being pushed aside as the group that escorted him to rushed off into the room at the end of the hallway. Harry blushed as the woman with the constantly changing hair colour winked at him as she passed, he continued to watch her walk down the hallway, but his attention was broken when she tripped on the corner of a coat hanger, knocking it into a painting that was covered by a curtain.

"Blood traiters, mudbloods. How dare you desecrate this house." A shrilly female voice came from behind the curtains.

"Kreacher, I thought I told you to stay away from that curtain." Sirius yelled from the room at the end of the hall.

Hearing Sirius's voice, Harry raced off towards the room at the end of the hall. "Sirius." Harry muttered as he finally caught sight of Sirius.

Before he could enter the room, Molly Weasley grabbed Harry before pulling him into a hug. "Harry, thank goodness you're alright." She said as she hugged him tightly

"Misses Weasley."Harry began, before she released him from her hug.

"Bit peaky, but I'm afraid dinner will have to wait until after the meetings finished." Molly continued as he held his cheeks. "No time to explain, head straight upstairs, first door on the left. " She pointed towards the staircase.

Walking up the stairs Harry passed a grumpy house elf that was muttering something that he couldn't quite make out. Entering the room that Molly had directed him towards, Harry was surprised when something very bushy latched on to him. "Harry." Hermione began. "Are you alright? I've read up on your expulsion, It's completely unfair. Dumbledore said that he doesn't know what fudge it thinking." Hermione rambled on.

"Let the man breath, Hermione." Ron said.

"Thanks Ron." Harry began. "What is this place?" He asked, wondering why so many people were gathered in Grimmauld Place.

"It's the Order of the Phoenix, a secret society dedicated to fighting Voldemort." Hermione replied immediately.

"And you couldn't tell me anything because? Even a small note in a letter telling me that you two were safe would have been enough."Harry said, angry that his best friends had been keeping secrets from him.

"We wanted to tell you, we really did, but Dumbledore made us swear not to tell you anything." Hermione explained.

"Dumbledore's here? But why would he keep me in the dark, after all, I'm the one who saw lord Voldemort return, I'm the one who fought him, I'm the one that saw Cedric Diggory get killed" Harry ranted.

With a soft crack a pair of identical redheads appeared behind harry. "Harry." They greeted him simultaneously.

"We heard that you were angry."

"Don't hold it all in, let it out."

"Do you wanna hear something a little more interesting?" One of the identical redheads asked.

* * *

The group found themselves standing at the top of the stairs, lowering an ear attached to a string.

"I still don't know how to feel on this, I trust Dumbledore, but to hire people from another world as guards." Sirius's voice came through the second ear held in Fred's hand.

"Dumbledore hired people from another world? Do you think they're talking about muggles?" Hermione asked in a whisper.

"Well I don't want any of those people near my children, you heard what Dumbledore said, they're murderers for hire. I say that this is a bad idea." Molly said, stunning the group that was listening in. "I bet every single one of them is as dark as they come. To kill a person in self defence is one thing, but to kill others for money... that's cold blooded."

Hermione muffled her gasp with her hand while the three redheaded boys paled. "Dumbledore hired murderers?" Harry muttered, anger growing in his chest.

"I think you are forgetting that they will do anything to complete their mission so we won't have to worry about any students suffering from an unfortunate accident, death eater related or not." Snape argued.

Before the group could gleam any more information, a orange ball of fuzz jumped on to the rope, ripping off the ear causing the end held in their hand to go silent. "Dumbledore's hired murderers to guard Hogwarts." Harry said, still processing what he heard.

* * *

Konohagakure no sato

'It's almost been an hour, where is that idiot.' Tsunade thought, wondering why Naruto was taking so long.

The door slammed open an in raced the blonde ninja that was delaying the mission. "Sorry I'm late, It took a while to find everything that I might need for the mission." Naruto apologised.

"It's about time brat, any longer and I would have had to go looking for you myself." Tsunade said, before spotting something stuck to Naruto's cheek. "Naruto, what's that?" Tsunade asked sweetly, pointing to the noodle stuck on Naruto's face. "That looks suspiciously like a noodle, not unlike those at that Ramen bar that you love." Tsunade continued, pulling the noodle off of the blonde ninja's paling face. "Unfortunately there is not enough time for me to teach you why it is a bad idea to waste time when you have a mission, so while you are away on your yearlong mission, I will have plenty of time to think of a punishment, maybe I should as the Raikage if Kumo needs a new Ramen bar." Tsunade smirked at the pale shaking ninja that now stood in front of her.

The Raikage coughed into his hand. "While I do find it funny watching you psychologically torturing your ninja, we still have a deadline to make."

Tsunade sighed, the Raikage just had to ruin her fun. "Fine." Tsunade huffed. "I have some last minute information for this mission." She announced. "The world that you will be entering is different vastly different than our world. In their world they have those that can use powers they refer to as magic and refer to those that can use magic as a witch or wizard. From my understanding they keep their society hidden from those that can't use magic. Your mission is to guard a school known as Hogwarts from any and all threats." Tsunade explained. "Unfortunately our knowledge on this new world is severely limited, so you will have to gain information on your own. The clients name is Albus Dumbledore, he will tell you the full mission perameters when you arrive." Looking at the clock in her office, Tsunade sighed, it was almost time for them to go. "Grab hold of the rope."

'Isn't that the rope that was on that table that just appeared here?' Naruto thought before shrugging. Grabbing hold of the rope along side Bee and Orochimaru, Naruto looked towards Tsunade. "Now what?"

"One of you must say this phrase aloud." Tsunade said, lifting a page with the words 'Grimmauld Place.' Written on it. "And Naruto, be safe."

Smiling brightly, Naruto gave a thumbs up. "See ya later Baa-chan."

Bee smirked as he thought of a new rhyme. "I'm gonna win first place in the race to Grimmauld Place, Yeah." Bee rapped.

In an instant, the trio of ninja disappear from the Hokage's office, leaving behind a chuckling Raikage and a slightly worried Tsunade.

* * *

Grimmauld Place

Albus Dumbledore hadn't left the study since he arrived at Grimmauld Place, he needed to be there until the portkey returned, with or without the shinobi. Albus didn't want to think what might happen if the shinobi appeared and he wasn't. Not knowing how the shinobi would react if there was someone else other than the client in the room, he asked everyone wait for him in another room.

In a twist of colour, Albus found three men standing in front of him, a large dark skinned man with white blonde hair, the man was wearing a strange white shirt that only covered one side of his chest, a large sword like object was strapped to his back. The second man worried Albus, he was tall, deathly pale, had long black hair his eyes were snake like in nature, he wore dark green and yellow, with the exception of a large purple rope tied around his waist, forming a bow in the back. The third man appeared to be a teenager, he had spiky blonde hair, blue eyes and what appeared to be three whisker marks on each side of his face, the teenager was clothed in an odd mash up of orange and black.

"This place looks like crap." The blonde teenager commented.

"While I agree with your observation, I believe that we shouldn't insult our clients home, especially when they're standing right in front of us." The pale man said.

"Hey yo, nine's right, this place aint right to dine the great eight, better find a place before it's too late." The dark skinned man rapped.

Sighing at the Bee's rap, Orochimaru turned towards the client. "Albus Dumbledore, I presume?" Orochimaru asked.

"Yes, may I have your names?" Albus asked kindly, even though the man in front of him made him wary.

"You may call me Orochimaru." Orochimaru introduced himself.

"I float like a butterfly and sting like a bee, I be the great Killer Bee." Bee rapped.

"Yo, I'm Uzumaki Naruto." Naruto said.

"It is nice to meet you all. Before we continue our conversation, could I ask each of you to put on these rings?" Albus asked, pulling three steel rings from him pocket. "They are spelled to translate your language and are enchanted to be indestructible." He explained.

Shrugging, the group of ninja's took the rings before placing it on their index finger.

"Now that you will be able to understand the others, I would like to ask you to please follow me." Albus said, before leading the ninja out of the study, into the hallway. The trio followed Albus into a room occupied by a few other individuals.

"So that's them, why do they have a kid with them?" Sirius asked, his eyes firmly set on Naruto.

"Kid my ass, I'm eighteen years old. How old are you, like fifty or something." Naruto snapped.

"I'm not that old!" Sirius spluttered. "But you are definitely still a kid."

"Oooooh, I am so going to use a thousand years of death on you, watch your back old man." Naruto began to move towards Sirius, but was stopped by a hand planted on his shoulder.

"Naruto-kun, you will not be using that technique today, we must show a positive image to our client and that involves not harming their allies." Orochimaru said, before turning to Dumbledore. "That being said, should you require any help with a prisoner, I would be happy to help." Orochimaru pulled a scalpel from his pocket before letting out a chuckle.

Naruto sighed at the look on Orochimaru's face. "And you say that I'm making a bad impression." Naruto commented.

Orochimaru blinked. "What do you mean Naruto-kun." He asked.

"You had the same look on your face when you hit me with the Five Elements Seal and gave Sasuke a Curse Mark." Naruto replied.

"Excuse me, but what's a curse mark?" Albus asked, interested in where this conversation was going.

Not seeing any harm in telling them, Orochimaru decided to tell them. "It was one of my earlier attempts at gaining immortality, I gave a mark to a person and gave them more power, but what they didn't know was that I left a piece of me behind, a small piece of my consciousness remains in them, so I would be able to come back if I were killed." Orochimaru explained, unknowingly describing the mechanics of a Horcrux. "I will admit, it was a foolish idea, but it served its purpose."

Looking towards the occupants of the room, Orochimaru found that most of the people in the room were staring at him in horror. "Was it something I said?" He asked.

"I... I will ask you not to tell anyone else about curse seals, I fear what would happen if someone tried to recreate the process." Dumbledore replied.

"Do you believe that it would be possible to do that with magic?" Orochimaru asked, his eyes locked with Dumbledore's.

"I am not certain." Albus lied. "But I believe it would take years to recreate such a process."

Seeing the slight twitch of Albus's hand and his strained facial muscles, Orochimaru came to a conclusion. 'He's lying, he already knows about a similar process.' He thought. "Interesting."


	4. Chapter 4

An: Hello all, welcome to my third chapter of Hogwarts Overkill. As always, thanks to those who have Read, Reviewed, Favorited and Followed this story. Have fun and if you feel like it, please leave a review. Now, onto the chapter.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter, they are their own people and are not related to house elves, so we can't own them, only their owners can own them.

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Chapter 4: Getting settled in

The room was tense after the explanation of the curse seal. To use such a thing on another person was unimaginable to the wizards. Moody's hand twitched towards his wand, his eye focused on Orochimaru, waiting for him to make a threatening move.

"Hey yo, our mission is to protect ya, so we cannot hurt ya, fools ya fools." Bee rapped, bringing the rooms focus on to him.

"And how can we be sure that he will follow your mission?" Moody growled, his eye focused on Orochimaru.

"The crimes that I have commited in the past have been expunged due to war efforts. Should I abandon the mission I will be seen as a criminal in the eyes of the five nations again. The Hokage would likely send young Naruto-kun here on the team that would hunt me. Should Naruto-kun and I fight, I don't doubt that I would lose that fight." Orochimaru explained, gesturing towards Naruto.

"Him, you would lose to him?" Sirius asked, pointing at Naruto. "I don't buy it, you're lying."

Naruto was about to begin arguing, but was interrupted by the sudden appearance to two identical red headed teenagers who were accompanied by a soft crack that filled the room. The redheaded twins looked around the room before coming to a conclusion. "Hey Fred."

"Yeah George."

"I think that we chose to arrive at the wrong time."

"FRED, GEORGE, What do you two think you are doing? This meeting was supposed to be private." Molly scolded. "March back up stairs and wait for me to call you."

"That is not necessary Molly, I believe it is time that this meeting has come to a close." Albus said loudly, before turning towards the three ninja. "For now your mission will be to guard this house and its occupants from anything that you deem a threat." Seeing the ninja nod, Albus let out a tired sigh. "I believe that it's time that I depart. Sirius, could I ask you to lead our guests to their room?"

"Fine." Sirius replied as he stood up. "You three, follow me." He said, before leading the trio of ninja to their room. "We weren't expecting you here for another few days so unfortunately there is only a single bed in here." Sirius explained as he showed the ninja's their dusty bedroom. "I'll just go fetch two beds."

"We will only require one extra bed, one of us will stay awake while the other sleeps." Orochimaru replied.

"Actually, we won't need any." Naruto commented, drawing the attention of the three men. Pulling a scroll from his pocket, Naruto opened it, revealing a seal to the other occupants of the room. Placing his hand on the seal, Naruto muttered a short "Kai." Before the room was enveloped in smoke.

"Naruto-kun, why did you have a bed sealed in your scroll?" Orochimaru asked, genuinely interested.

Naruto scratched his head as he muttered awkwardly. "Ero-Sennin always said that carrying a bed with you is important because you never know when you will have company. He said that something about a bed in the wilderness drives women crazy." Naruto replied.

Orochimaru sighed at the explanation while Bee gave an approving thumbs up.

'This Ero-Senning sounds like a great and wise man.' Sirius thought, resolving himself to remember such great advice. "Will you be eating your meals separate from the rest of us, or will you be joining us?" Sirius asked, hoping that he didn't have to deal with the trio of ninja at each meal.

"I'm fine." Orochimaru replied, pulling out a small container filled with what Sirius would later was called Soldier pills.

"I ate a bunch of Ramen before we came here." Naruto said, a faraway look appeared on his face as he remembered the divinity that is Ichiraku Ramen.

"I could eat, let's get some meat before I'm beat." Bee rapped.

"What did he just say?" Sirius asked, trying to decipher the rappers words.

"He will be joining you for dinner." Orochimaru explained.

"I see... then come along, I believe that Molly will have dinner ready shortly." Sirius said, leading Bee towards the dining room.

Orochimaru turned towards Naruto after Bee and Sirius were out of hearing range. "Would you be opposed to me taking the first guard shift?" Orochimaru asked.

"Go for it." Naruto replied, choosing to relax on his bed for the time being.

Pulling his sleeve up, Orochimaru revealed a tattoo on his forearm. Biting his thumb, Orochimaru smeared his blood across the tattoo before slapping his onto the floor. "Kuchiyose no Jutsu." He muttered, before a small puff of smoke enveloped the floor in front of him. When the smoke cleared, Naruto and Orochimaru were greeted to the sight of ten snakes no bigger than a garden snake. "Scout the house, remain hidden and don't harm any of its occupants." Orochimaru ordered the group of snakes. At the order the snakes gave a comical salute using their tales in place of hands before slithering off into the dark.

* * *

Since arriving at Grimmauld Place, Harry's mood had gone from bad to worse. First he found out that that Dumbledore had made his friends swear not to tell him anything and then he found out that Dumbledore had hired murderers to guard Hogwarts. The fact that they arrived that very same day would have been enough to easily make this his worst day, but no, he just had to find out that Fudge was slandering his image, telling everyone that he was an attention seeking liar was enough to make his day worse, his mood only brightening when Sirius entered the room.

"Sirius. Harry happily greeted Sirius as he stood and moved to hug the man.

"Harry, it's good to see you." Sirius said as he patted harry on the back before releasing him. "Molly, can you set another plate." Sirius asked, as he to sit in the seat at the end of the table, harry seated on his left and Lupin to his right

"Why would you need another pla... Oh." Molly began, but paused at the sight of Bee. Grabbing an extra plate, Molly placed it next to Sirius's. Grabbing a seat, Bee nodded his thanks to Molly before placing his seat on Sirius's right.

Coughing into his hand, Lupin brought Harry's attention back onto him. "As I was saying Harry. Fudge is afraid and it's that fear that has warped his mind, making him deny the truth when it's right in front of his face." Lupin explained.

"We think Voldemort wants to build up his army. Fifteen years ago he had huge numbers at his command, not just witches and wizards, but all manner of dark creature. He's been recruiting heavily and we've been attempting to do the same, but..." Sirius began, but was interrupted.

"Is that why Dumbledore hired murderers?" Harry asked, shocking Sirius. "I heard you discussing it, we all heard you." Harry accused Sirius.

"Now Harry, you don't understand, there are other factors to this..." Sirius tried to explain, but was interrupted again.

"No, I don't want to understand, the only factor is that Dumbledore is paying murderers to kill other murderers." Harry argued, before turning to Bee. "You're one of them aren't you? How much do they pay you to take a life?"

Bee raised an eyebrow at Harry's question, but decided to humour him. "It depends on the mission, no need to be bitchin. On the battlefield you either kill or you're nill."

"What?" Harry asked, not understanding what Bee was saying.

Bee sighed, people from this world just don't understand good music. "If you don't kill your enemy, you'll be but a memory." Bee rapped as clearly as possible.

Before Harry could retort, Molly Weasley interrupted their conversation. "Dinners ready." She announced loudly, bringing everyone's focus onto the food.

Dinner was an awkward event for the wizards, many of them were stunned at the ferociousness of how Bee's table manners. Bee completely disregarded the knife and fork set in front of his in favour of tearing into his food with his bare hand. Before too long, Bee finished eating, he let out a soft burp before standing from his seat. "Thanks for the food, it was just that good. Yeah." Bee rapped, before leaving the room.

"If you don't kill your enemy, you'll be but a memory." Harry muttered to himself. "What did he mean by that?" He wondered.

"It means that it's kill or be killed in his world." Moody's gruff voice sounded through the room. "From what I understand of their world, Shinobi are the military force. They are the soldiers of their world." Moody explained.

"Soldiers?" Hermione asked curiously.

"Yes soldiers, they fight their battles, they protect their nation and they kill those that could be a threat. While they may do many questionable things, they are their world's soldiers." Moody explained, before turning to Harry. "Remember this Harry, soldiers kill for what they believe in while murderers kill for themselves."

* * *

Hours had passed since dinner. Everyone was sleeping, the only exception was Orochimaru who stood in front of Naruto's bed. "Naruto-kun, wake up, it's your shift." Orochimaru said softly, not wanting to wake Bee.

Naruto blearily opened his eyes. "Hmmm, Why are you in my giant bowl of Ramen, Orochimaru?" Naruto asked, still half asleep. "I know that you were my best man when Sasuke decided that my wedding with Ramen-chan wasn't important enough, but you don't climb into another man's Ramen." Naruto muttered before rolling over. "But it's nice that you came to visit. Maybe I should make you Ramen junior's godfather."

Using as little chakra as possible, Orochimaru used the one Jutsu he was sure would wake Naruto. "Suiton: Mizurappa." A small amount of water shot from Orochimaru's mouth splashing onto Naruto's face.

"I'm up." Naruto said suddenly as he shot up from his bed.

"Good, it's your shift." Orochimaru said, before climbing into Naruto's bed.

Looking at the odd sight of Orochimaru in his bed, Naruto made a mental note to burn that bed when he got back to Konoha. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto muttered, creating four shadow clones "Guard the house." Naruto ordered the clones, before taking off to his destination.

Peaking his head into numerous rooms, Naruto looked for his targed, but found that the target was illusive. Checking the last room, Naruto grinned, he had found his target. Sneaking into the room Naruto stood at the foot of Sirius Black's bed. "Kukuku." Naruto chuckled softly at the thoughts of what he was going to do the man in front of him. 'Crap, I've spent too much time around Orochimaru.' Naruto thought before he suddenly realised something. 'It's only been one day.' Deciding to put his worries aside, Naruto grinned at the sleeping form of Sirius. This was going to be fun.


	5. Chapter 5

An: Hello all, welcome to yet another update of Hogwarts Overkill. As always, I would like to thank those that Follow, Favorite and Review. Also, I would like to say that I will probably be busy tomorrow, so I doubt that I will have chapter 6 out before... lets say the 26th. If you feel like it, please leave a review. Now onto the story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter, but I do own a very nice tea pot. I'm looking at it right now.

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Chapter 5: A day in Grimmauld place

Harry slept fitfully, restlessly turning over when as his dreams kept replaying the past day over and over again. 'Expecto Patronum... You are hereby expelled from Hogwarts... Dumbledore hired murderers... They are soldiers...' Before his dreams could start over again, Harry found himself standing in a long dark hallway with a strange door at the end. " _Bring it to me. I want it._ " A voice hissed in his head before he woke up, coming face to face with a curious looking snake.

 _"Hello."_ Harry hissed in Parseltongue. _"Was it you who asked for me to bring you something?"_ Harry asked the snake. The snake blinked at Harry's words, before slithering off. 'That was weird, I should probably tell Sirius that there's a snake in the house. I'll tell him in the morning, right now I need to get some rest for the Disciplinary hearing.' Harry thought, before trying to get back to sleep.

* * *

The morning finally came when Molly Weasley decided that the occupants of the house had slept enough. "Wake up dearies, we have a big day ahead of ourselves." Molly's voice sounded through the entire house.

Sirius groaned as he slowly sat up, the last time he had ignored Molly, she had personally come into his room and dragged him down to the dining room. Not wanting to ever experience that again, Sirius resolved himself to try not to get onto Molly's bad side. 'That's odd.' Sirius thought as he ran his hands through his hair, his much longer hair. Checking the rest of his body, Sirius found that he was now in possession of a beard that rivalled that of Dumbledore. Sirius chuckled. 'It was probably those weasley twins, they probably wanted to test a few spells out on me.' Sirius thought as he slowly stood up. 'Although, I wonder how they managed to do this without waking me. I'll just ask them." He thought.

Moving towards his door, Sirius immediately slipped and fell backwards, landing on a tripwire that that was connected to a bucket hanging above where Sirius currently laid. "My back." Sirius moaned, before the bucket spilled its contents over him, covering him in a sticky clear substance. Spitting out some of the sticky substance that had gotten into his mouth, Sirius groaned as he slowly pushed himself up. "I'm going to get those twins back for this." Sirius said, his voice hoarse from some of the substance that had gotten into his mouth. Preoccupied by his thoughts, Sirius opened his door, not noticing a second wire threaded alongside the door frame. Walking through the door, Sirius found himself doused with a second bucket filled with glitter.

Walking towards the dining room, Sirius immediately grabbed his back in pain. "Argh. My aching back." He moaned as he slowly hobbled towards the dining room. Entering the dining room, Sirius was greeted to the sight of the entire Weasley family, minus Molly and her daughter, Harry, Hermione, Moody, Lupin, Tonks and the trio of ninjas, all of them staring at him.

Meanwhile, Lupin was running over a check list in his head. 'Long white beard, check. Long white hair, check. Wear's odd robes that are covered in glitter, check. Back pains due to advanced age, check.' Lupin thought as he mentally completed his check list before coming to his conclusion. "Dumbledore, what are you doing here, aren't you supposed to be preparing for Harry's trial." Lupin asked the glitter covered Sirius.

"That isn't Albus you fool. Look closer, it's an impostor." Moody growled, his wand aimed at Sirius. "Who are you and what do you want?"

Naruto held his sides as he shook with suppressed laughter. 'This has gone way better than planned.' Naruto thought as he bit back a giggle.

'This has Naruto-kun's handy work written all over it.' Orochimaru thought as he looked between the shaking Naruto and the glittering Sirius.

Bee calmly sat in his chair, a smirk on his face as he watched the scene unfold in front of him.

"It's me, Sirius." Sirius said in his hoarse voice. Sirius yelped before ducking under a hex from Moody.

"Tell us who you really are." Moody growled, getting ready to send a second hex at the imposter.

Before Sirius could reply, Naruto burst into laughter, falling off his seat in the process. "Hahaha, you should, hahaha, see the, hahaha, look on your face." Naruto said through his laughter, tears streaming down his face.

"It was you?" Sirius asked as he stared at the downed ninja.

Naruto wiped the tears from his eyes as he sat up. "Yep, Orochimaru kept me from using the thousand years of death on you, so I did the next best thing." Naruto replied.

Sirius chuckled darkly as he glared at Naruto. "You won't know where and you won't know when, but I will get you back for this." Sirius promised in his hoarse voice. After a few quick cleaning charms and a warm cup of tea, Sirius was almost back to his usual state, minus a sore back and the long white hair and beard. Resting in his chair, Sirius plotted his revenge. 'Enjoy your time while you can for this marauder will have his vengeance.' He glared at Naruto.

"Breakfast is ready." Molly announced as she brought a pan filled with scrambled eggs and bacon. A small redheaded girl stood next to her, holding a plate towering with toast. Molly began to spoon the scrambled egg and bacon mix onto the plates as her daughter placed the toast neatly next to the bacon and egg mix. As Molly began to place the filled plates on, her daughter handing a knife and fork to each of the people she passed followed Molly. Molly momentarily froze when she caught sight of the three ninja sitting together at the end of the table. 'Remember Molly, they're here to protect Hogwarts, they can't hurt you or your family.' Molly reminded herself before she continued to place the plates down.

Finally reaching the end of the table, Molly set down their plates as her daughter handed each of them a knife and fork. While she was assured that none of the men in front of her would harm any of them, Molly didn't want to be around them more than necessary.

"Excuse me." Orochimaru began, bringing Molly's attention to him. "Would you please explain how to use these eating utensils?" Orochimaru asked as he pointed to the knife and fork sitting in front of him.

"What, you mean the knife and fork?" Ginny asked, wondering why the strange looking Order member was asking such a weird question.

"Yes. My companions and I are not from here, therefore we do not know how to use your eating utensils." Orochimaru explained.

"Oh. Well you hold the fork in your left hand and use it to scoop up food while you use the knife in your right hand to cut your food into manageable pieces." Ginny explained. "Who are you anyway? I went to bed early yesterday because I wasn't feeling good so I didn't get to meet you three. When did you join the Order?" She asked.

"Ginny, I think that's enough. Let's not bother them while they eat." Molly said, as she tried to tug Ginny away from the three men in front of her.

"I don't mine." Orochimaru said, before turning back towards Ginny. "My name is Orochimaru. The blonde who is attempting to use his fork is Uzumaki Naruto and the man to my left who is eating with his hands is Killer Bee."

Hearing his name, Naruto momentarily looked up, before going back to his attempt at getting the scrambled egg from his fork into his mouth.

"I think that we've bothered them enough Ginny, come on, lets get our breakfast before it gets cold." Molly said as she dragged her daughter back to their seats.

"But mommy, I wasn't finished talking to them." Ginny whined.

Soon, the room was only filled with the sound of small chatter and people eating their food. Naruto finally succeeded in getting a piece of egg a piece of egg on his fork. Just before Naruto could shovel the scrambled egg on his fork into his mouth, his concentration was interrupted by something nudging his leg, making him drop the egg back onto his plate. "Damnit. Just as I was getting used to this fork thing." Naruto muttered, drawing curious stares from the wizards in the room. Looking down, Naruto found a snake poking him with the end of its tail. Sticking his hand next to it, Naruto allowed it to coil around his hand. "It's for you." Naruto said as he placed the snake on Orochimaru's shoulder.

The snake leaned closer to Orochimaru's ear before it began to seemingly hiss something. "So, what did it say?" Naruto asked curiously.

"There appears to be a group of small moth like creatures in the attic, along with something else." Orochimaru replied.

"You're a Parselmouth?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Parselmouth? I'm not familiar with that word." Orochimaru began, but paused when the snake seemingly hissed something to Orochimaru. "So he's the one you mentioned earlier. Interesting." Orochimaru said as the snake slithered onto his hand, its body pressed against the ring on his finger.

"A Parselmouth is someone that can talk to snakes, like you are doing now." Harry explained before looking at the snake. _"Like this."_ Harry spoke in Parseltongue.

"He's doing it again." Came a small complaint from Orochimaru's hand. "I don't know what made you think it was a good idea, but stop hissing at me, it's creepy and offensive."

All the wizards blinked in unison.

* * *

"Fred." George began.

"Yeah George?" Fred asked.

"Is that snake speaking English?" George asked.

"Yeah George." Fred replied before both sprouted massive grins.

"Wicked." They spoke in unison.

* * *

Harry's mind was buzzing with thoughts. The snake finally spoke, but it didn't sound like Parseltongue. The snake spoke in English. "What?" Harry asked dumbly, not knowing what to make of the situation.

"I said. Stop hissing at me. When I first saw you rolling around in your bed, I thought something was wrong and the thanks I get is a mocking hiss. I have never been more insulted before in my life." The snake huffed as it crossed its tail in front of itself.

"While this is all very fascinating, I believe we will have to get going soon Harry. Wouldn't want to be late for your Hearing, would we?" Arthur interrupted, reminding Harry that he had to get ready for the Hearing soon.

"That's right. While Harry get's ready, I will expect you to help tidy up this place." Molly said, her gaze on her children and Hermione.

The wizards wolfed down their breakfast, before they left the dining room, each with their own task. The three ninja sat quietly, unconcerned with the wizards rushing around the house. "So why did your snake whisper to you instead of just talking normally?" Naruto asked.

"She was shy." Orochimaru explained, easily holding a fork full of eggs.

Looking at the ease of which Orochimaru ate his eggs, Naruto's eyebrow twitched. "That's it, screw these things." Naruto said as he set his knife and fork down. Placing as much egg and bacon onto his toast, Naruto followed Bee's example and ate his food with his hands.

"I'm done." Orochimaru announced, before standing up. "Lead me to the attic." Orochimaru ordered his snake.

* * *

Following the snake's directions, Orochimaru walked past the red headed twins and their brother, past the green eyed boy who had unintended insulted his snake and finally stood at the door of the attic, where he heard what he believed to be was a woman sobbing.

Entering the room, Orochimaru was greeted to the sight of Molly Weasley on her knees in front of a dead twin. 'That's odd, I just pass those two on my way up here.' Orochimaru thought as he saw Molly point her wand at the dead twin.

"Riddikulus." Molly said and with a snap the dead body changed to that of the younger red headed boy. Molly sobbed louder as she chanted "Riddikulus." Over and over again, morphing the body in front of her from one red head to another.

"Interesting." Orochimaru began to walk towards the downed body. As Orochimaru passed Molly, the body of the redhead began to morph into numerous forms, from an old looking man in battle armor to a ringed purple eyed man dressed in white. "I see. Those forms you chose are personally designed to draw out as much fear from me as possible." Orochimaru blinked when it finally settled on the form of a small monkey like creature that screeched at him. Orochimaru quickly snatched the monkey up from the floor, holding it by its neck before turning towards Molly. "I would suggest that you leave for now." Orochimaru said.

Molly nodded tearfully at his advice before quickly leaving the attic.

"Kukuku, you like to scare things, but you don't even know the true meaning of fear. Let me teach you." Orochimaru pulled a scalpel from his pocket, before placing it on the monkey's chest. "While I would have liked a better place to perform the study, this will have to do." Orochimaru sighed, before he began.

Numerous loud screeches were heard throughout Grimmauld Place along with Orochimaru's dark chuckle.


	6. Chapter 6

An: Hello all, let me introduce you to chapter 6 of Hogwarts Overkill. For some reason when I posted chapter 5, it showed that I had updated it, but it didn't change the date that it was updated. So it may have seemed that I haven't updated in two days, but in reality it has only been one day. I would like to thank those that have Favorited, Followed, Reviewed and simply read my story. If you like, please leave a review. Just knowing that people like my story makes me want to write more, having them tell me that in a review is awesome and inspires me to work harder on the next chapter. Enough of that, onto the story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter, but I do own a pair of comfortable, warm socks. They're very nice.

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Chapter 6: Cleaning Grimmauld Place

Naruto sighed happily, he had gotten his vengeance on Sirius, successfully eaten his breakfast and Orochimaru hadn't done anything questionable yet. Yes, things were certainly going well for Naruto on his first day. A loud screech sounded through the house accompanied by Orochimaru's dark laughter brought Naruto's good day to a halt. "Damnit, it hasn't even been a full day." Naruto cursed.

"Where you going? Gonna throw a bone to Orochimaru's tone?" Bee rapped over the screeches, before wincing at a particularly loud screech.

"Something like that." Naruto muttered, before he began to follow the screeching. Walking up the stairs, Naruto passed a crying red headed woman who was moving away from the origin of the noise. Throwing the attic door open, Naruto had to block his ears as the screeches got louder. "OROCHIMARU." He yelled when he saw Orochimaru crouched in front of something."

Orochimaru's head shot up, before he removed the scalpel from the bloodied monkey like creature, causing the screeches to decrease in volume. "Naruto-kun, can you please close the door, I don't want to risk letting this thing escape." Orochimaru began. At the sound of the door clicking closed, Orochimaru stood up, allowing Naruto to see the cut up monkey like creature being held down by a pair of snakes that were wrapped around its arms and legs. "What can I do for you Naruto-kun? As you can see I am rather busy and I would like to continue my examination while the subject is still fresh." Orochimaru continued as he turned towards Naruto.

"Why do you have blood on your face... You know what, don't tell me, I'd rather not know." Naruto said, noticing the blood splattered across Orochimaru's face. "I'm here because whatever you're doing to that thing." Naruto pointed at the creature Orochimaru was studying.

"It was causing grief to one of the residence so I decided to label it as a hostile." Orochimaru explained. "It would be such a waste to get rid of the hostile, so I decided to study it."

'Baa-chan did say that we would have to gather our own information.' Naruto thought. "Fine, but can you do it a bit quieter. Everyone in this house can hear that things screeches." Naruto said. Before Naruto could continue any further, the attic door burst open and in rushed a group of wizards. "See, this is what I mean, they heard the noise and came to investigate."

Sirius, Lupin and Moody aimed their wands at the two shinobi . "What are you two doing up here?" Alastor Moody growled.

"Hey, don't aim that thing at me. I just came up here to ask Orochimaru to keep it down." Naruto replied.

"And what is he doing up here?" Moody asked, noticing the blood covered features of Orochimaru.

"My snake told me that there was a creature up here and I came to investigate." Orochimaru said. Noticing that Moody was not satisfied with his explanation, Orochimaru decided to continue. "Upon entering this room, I found the redheaded woman sobbing at while this creature was tormenting her, so I decided to label it as a hostile and asked the woman to leave. It is an interesting creature, it seems to use its magic to make it look like the thing people fear most and then it feeds on that fear."

It's a Boggart." Lupin muttered, recognising the creature that Orochimaru was describing.

"So it's called a Boggart." Orochimaru mused, before turning towards the group of wizards. "I would like to ask for additional information on this Boggart later on, but for now I believe that I have delayed my study for long enough." Orochimaru said, before removing a scroll from his pocket. Opening the scroll, Orochimaru placed his hand with it. With a puff of smoke, Orochimaru now held a few pieces of paper with scribbled writing on it. "Place these on the door and it should block out the majority of the noise." Orochimaru handed Naruto the pieces of paper, before turning back towards the wizards. "If you choose to stay after Naruto leaves, then you will not be allowed out until after I am done with the study."

"Thanks." Naruto said. "So are you coming or what?" Naruto asked the group of wizards that looked uncertain.

"I'll stay here. You two can leave." Moody said, his gaze not leaving Orochimaru.

"Are you sure?" Sirius asked, not sure if he should leave Moody alone with Orochimaru.

Before Moody could reply, Naruto interrupted their conversation. "Can we just leave already. I don't know about you, but I don't want to spend my entire day stuck up here. I have things to do."

"Just go." Moody growled.

Lupin nodded, before he and Sirius followed Naruto out of the room. Naruto immediately began placing the pieces of paper Orochimaru had given him on the attic door once it was closed. Slapping his hands together, the screeches immediately began to die down, almost completely muting the noise.

"What was that?" Lupin asked, wondering what the shinobi in front of him had just done.

"Just a simple muffling seal." Naruto replied as he moved towards the stairs. 'Man that's a lot of stairs. I think I'll just take the quicker way down.' He thought, before climbing over the railing.

"What are you d..." Lupin began, but paused when he saw Naruto drop down. "Shit, if he falls from this height he could die." Lupin rushed towards the railing, expecting to see a splattered Naruto below, but found that the blonde ninja had disappeared.

* * *

'Stairs are for losers.' Naruto thought as he walked down the hallway, grinning. 'What should I do now? Guess I'll look for Octopops.' Naruto swiftly dodged the door that swung open. Looking towards the now open room, Naruto was greeted to the sight of an annoyed looking redheaded girl. "Umm, yo." Naruto awkwardly greeted the annoyed redhead.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to almost hit you." Ginny apologised, before noticing who it was that she almost hit. "You're one of those three that everyone seems to be wary of. What was your name again? Uzu something?" Ginny asked.

"Just call me Naruto." Naruto replied.

"Alright Naruto. So when did you and your friends join the Order?" Ginny asked her earlier question.

"Ginny, who are you talking to? You're supposed to be helping me clean this room." A female voice called from inside the room.

Ginny sighed at having to do more work, before she came up with an idea that would ensure that she would have a break. "Come with me, I'll introduce you to Hermione." Ginny said, pulling Naruto into the room.

"I guess I can look for Bee later." Naruto muttered as he allowed himself to be pulled into the room.

"Hermione, there is someone that I would like you to meet." Ginny began, drawing Hermione's attention to her. "This is Naruto." She pushed Naruto forward. "And Naruto, this is Hermione."

"Nice to meet you Hermione." Naruto grinned as he stuck his hand forward.

Hermione hesitantly grabbed his hand. "A...and you Naruto." Hermione stuttered her greeting, before releasing Naruto's hand. 'misses Weasley said that they were murderers, but Dumbledore wouldn't hire anyone that would harm the students and Alastor Moody said that they are soldiers. This Naruto doesn't seem so bad though.' Hermione thought.

"You know, I never did get my answer. When did you join the Order?" Ginny asked, interrupting Hermione's thoughts.

"Order? I didn't join any Order." Naruto replied.

"If you didn't join the Order then why are you here?" Ginny asked.

"He's here to guard Hogwarts along with the others." Hermione interrupted.

"Guard Hogwarts? But you look like you're barely out of Hogwarts." Ginny said, her gaze on Naruto.

Naruto's eye twitched. Why did everyone think that he was so young here. Back in Konoha nobody commented on a ninjas age when they were assigned a mission, but here it seemed like all everyone was worried about was a person's age, as if a person's age somehow showed how skilled the person was. "So? just because I'm not some old man, I'm somehow less able to guard Hogwarts?" Naruto asked defensively.

"No. We just weren't expecting someone near our age being hired to protect Hogwarts." Hermione replied.

"Oh, Okay then." Naruto muttered.

"So what's with the bandages?" Ginny asked, noticing the bandages that covered the entire visible part of Naruto's right arm.

"I had to wear them for a while, but when the time came for me to take them off I decided that I wanted to keep them on." Naruto explained.

"But what happened to make you need them?" Ginny asked.

"Well that's a funny story." Naruto scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "My friend Sasuke was being the bastard that he usually is and was trying to do something really stupid, so we had a fight and I won. In the end I lost my arm and had to have it replaced with a prosthetic." Naruto pulled the sleeve on his arm up, before pulling his bandages off, revealing shocking white underneath connected to his usual tanned colour.

Hermione gasped. "That's awful." She said as she stared at the spot where the prosthetic connected to Naruto's arm.

"It's not that bad. This is basically like my arm now, the only difference being that it's not the same colour."Naruto replied.

A crack sounded through the room as two identical redheads appeared.

"Hello Ginny." Fred greeted.

"And Hermione." George added.

"Mum said that she expects this room to be clean." Fred began.

"Within half an hour." George continued.

"Mum can't expect us to get this done so soon, it would take twenty people to get this room cleaned within that time." Ginny replied, trying to put Naruto's short explanation of why he wears bandages out of her mind.

"Twenty people?" Naruto asked.

"We didn't see you there." Fred noted.

"Please accept our apology." George apologised.

"My, what an interesting arm." Fred noticed Naruto's pale arm.

"It kind of looks like that snake mans arm." George said.

"Did you dip it in white paint?" Fred asked.

"Maybe you cleaned it too much." George continued.

"Mother always told us that if you stay in the bath too long you'll go pale." Fred added.

"But personally we thought that she was just trying to get us out of the bath." George finished.

"What?" Naruto asked, trying to make sense of what the twins were rambling about.

"Don't mind Fred and George. They like to confuse people by finishing each other's sentences, kind of like a prank." Ginny explained.

Naruto grinned at the word prank. Crossing his fingers in front of him, Naruto gave a quick mutter of "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Before a cloud of smoke surrounded Him.

"So you like pranks." Naruto said.

"Well we love pranks." A second Naruto continued.

"So if you would like a lesson in real pranking."A third Naruto began.

"Come find us." A fourth Naruto offered.

"And we might just teach you a thing or two." A fifth Naruto added.

"Although we might prank you in the process." The sixth and final Naruto concluded, before the group of Naruto's burst into smoke, leaving the original behind.

"Teach us oh great one." Fred began.

"To be able to make numerous copies of one's self is indeed a great skill." George continued.

"We could prank more people." Fred added.

"Create more pranking items." George said.

"Have an alibi." Fred considered

"Yes, to copy one's self would indeed be a useful skill." George finished, before the two latched on to the original Naruto.

"Kawarimi no Jutsu." Naruto muttered, before he was enveloped in smoke. "You know what, I think that I'll just go find Bee. It was nice meeting all of you." Naruto said awkwardly, before leaving the room.

"What, how did he get out of our grasp?"

"I don't know, but why does it still feel like we're holding something."

"Beats me. That blonde shinobi certainly has some interesting talents."

"Fred, George, If you don't let go of me I'll hit you." Ginny said as she struggled to get out of her brothers grasp.


	7. Chapter 7

An: Greeting all, welcome to chapter 7 of Hogwarts Overkill. I would like to start out with the usual thanks to all those who Favorite, Follow and Review this story, if you feel like it, please leave a review, it inspires me to write more chapters.

I would also like to thank Mexcore for explaining to me that if I post a second chapter within 20 hours, the date of update won't change.

Man, this chapter was hard to write. I had writers block and was just staring at the screen for an hour before I could even write the simplist of sentences. Due to possible future writers block, I might not be able to update this story daily, but I might write something else to work through it. A second story if you will. I do have a few ideas on other stories I can write to try and break through writers block, one of which would be a regular Naruto fanfiction where he is born with shikotsumyaku or some other kekkei genkai and is possibly not related to Kushina or Minato... I'm still working on the idea, but I might post something on it soon.

Enough of my gabbling. Onto the story

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter... Yet, kukukuku

* * *

 **Chapter 7: The trip**

Harry looked over the suit he was wearing. Soon he would be going to his Disciplinary hearing. Harry was nervous and that screeching noise wasn't helping at all. "I need some air." Harry suddenly said, before rushing out of the room. Racing down the hallway, Harry wasn't watching where he was going and collided with a wall of muscle, before falling to the floor.

"Yo little man, what's the rush, no need to blush." Bee rapped as he stared down at Harry. Grabbing Harry's hand, Bee quickly pulled him to his feet.

"Sorry about that, I didn't mean to bump into you." Harry apologised. "Um, you're Killer Bee, right?" Harry asked suddenly.

Bee smirked as he placed his thumb on his chest. "That's who I be little man. Killer Bee the Hachibi Jinchuriki." Bee rapped.

"I would like to apologise about what I said last night. It was rude of me to call you a murderer and I'm sorry for that." Harry apologised.

"No worries little man. So what's the plans, why are you running down these hallways like your running from somethang?" Bee asked.

"Um." Harry muttered, trying to decipher what Bee just said. "I needed some air."

"Then take a breath or it's your death." Bee said, before he started walking down the hallway. "You coming or are you just slumming."

Deciding to follow Bee, Harry immediately caught up with him.

"So what's bothering you? Some doddering old fool?" Bee asked as the duo walked down the stairs.

"Something like that." Harry replied, surprised that he understood what Bee was asking him. At Bee's questioning look, Harry decided to explain. "Fudge is trying to get me expelled from Hogwarts for protecting myself." He suddenly said.

Bee paused to open the front door, before motioning for Harry to continue his explanation.

"I just don't get it. Why is Fudge so insistent on ignoring Voldemort's return, I know that it's scary to think about, but if he keeps ignoring it, things will get much worse." Harry ranted. "I just don't know what to do." Harry said sadly.

"I can't tell you what to do because then you would be a tool. It's up to you, so stay true to those you care about, fool ya fool." Bee rapped.

"But what if I can't beat Voldemort?" Harry asked.

"Then leave him to us, it won't be a big fuss." Bee replied.

"Octopops, there you are. I was looking all over for you." Naruto said, having finally found Bee. "Who are you?" Naruto asked, his gaze on Harry.

"Oh, I'm Harry Potter. I'm sorry, but what was your name again?" Harry asked, trying to remember the names he heard at breakfast. "I think it began with Orochi."

"Hell no. My name's Naruto. Come on, say it with me NA-RU-TO." Naruto said, not liking that someone almost called him Orochimaru.

"Sorry, your names are a bit difficult to remember." Harry apologised.

"It's alright, I just don't like being mistaken for Orochimaru." Naruto replied.

"Did you get that clown to keep it down?" Bee rapped.

"Yeah. I got him to use muffing seals so we wouldn't have to keep listening to that screeching." Naruto explained, before getting a thumbs up from Bee.

"Wait. You know what that screeching noise was?" Harry asked suddenly, curious to know what was causing that noise.

"Yeah, one of Orochimaru's snakes informed him that there was some strange creature in the attic. Apparently when he went there he found that redheaded woman crying. In Orochimaru's words, the creature was tormenting her." Naruto explained.

Harry's eyes widened at what he heard, before he ran off towards the attic. "What's his problem?" Naruto asked as he watched Harry race off.

Bee just shook his head. "Fool ya fool." He muttered.

"Might as well follow him, it could be interesting." Naruto said, before he began following Harry.

* * *

'Misses Weasley said that she was going to clean the attic.' Harry thought as he ran down the hallway. Accidentally bumping into Sirius, Harry muttered a quick apology, before he continued his previous pace, unintentionally getting Sirius to follow him. Darting up the stairs, Harry finally found himself at the attic door. Reaching to open it, Harry found someone had grabbed his hand, preventing him from grabbing the doorknob.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Naruto began, keeping Harry from entering the room.

"Let me go, I have to help Misses Weasley." Harry said, as Sirius arrived.

"Molly? She's not in there, she's down stairs." Sirius explained.

"But Naruto said that she's in there..." Harry replied.

"You didn't let me finish. I said that she was in there, but she left after Orochimaru began his study." Naruto interrupted.

Before Harry could reply, the attic door swung open and out walked a very pale looking Alastor Moody. "He's finished." Moody said, before he calmly walked away.

"That's not the reaction I would expect of someone witnessing Orochimaru study something." Naruto commented, as the group watched Moody. Moody headed down a single flight of stairs, before entering one of the rooms on the side. "Hey, what room is that?" Naruto asked Sirius curiously.

"It's a bathroom, but why would Moody be going there now. Moody never goes to the bathroom when people are watching, he says that you're most vulnerable when in the bathroom." Sirius said.

The sound of someone being sick sounded through the stairway. "That's the reaction I would expect of someone witnessing Orochimaru study something." Naruto began.

"Did you call me Naruto-kun?" Orochimaru asked as he left the attic.

"No... You still have blood on your face." Naruto replied, before gesturing to where the blood was splattered on Orochimaru's grinning face.

"I... I have a Disciplinary hearing to go to." Harry stuttered, disturbed by the grin on Orochimaru's face.

"Yeah, me too." Sirius added, before grabbing Harry's shoulder. "Let's get going to our Disciplinary hearing."

"Odd." Orochimaru noted as he watched the retreating backs of Sirius and Harry.

Naruto sighed. "I know what you mean. One moment they're fine and then the next someone covered in blood mentally scars on of their friends and then proceeds to act like nothing is wrong." Naruto said sarcastically.

"That's not why I said odd." Orochimaru began. "When I looked into that boy's eyes I saw something else looking back. It was only for a moment, but I definitely saw something else in that boys eyes, something that doesn't belong."

"That is odd." Naruto said.

* * *

A day had passed since Harry's hearing and a few things had happened. Harry had gone to his Disciplinary hearing and found out that Fudge had changed the time to be earlier. Luckily Arthur had made sure that Harry arrived hours earlier then the first set time, so Harry arrived on time. Fudge had tried to rush the hearing and get Harry expelled, but Dumbledore had arrived in the nick of time to prevent the expulsion by providing a witness to the attack, before leaving after the charges were acquitted. When he arrived back at Grimmauld place, Harry was immediately pulled into a hug by Molly Weasley, before she told him to help Ron clean their room and that they would hold a celebratory dinner. The next morning, Harry and Ron hastily packed their trunks, before they left Grimmauld place for King's cross.

"Harry... Harry." Hermione waved her hand in front of Harry's face.

"I'm sorry, could you please repeat that?" Harry asked apologetically.

Hermione sighed. "Do you think that those shinobi are going to be on the train with us?" Hermione asked, a little irritated at having to repeat her question.

"I don't know, maybe they will. Why do you ask?" Harry asked, wondering why Hermione was interested in the shinobi.

"it would be interesting to learn about their culture. They use such interesting magic, did you know that Naruto can make numerous copies of himself." Hermione replied.

"That's interesting, I wond..." Harry felt something nudging his leg. Looking down, Harry came face to face with Padfoot. "Sirius, what are you doing here?" Harry whispered.

Padfoot whined, before he nudged Harry into the bathroom. Transforming back into a human, Sirius gave a cheeky grin. "Well I had to see you off." He said, before giving Harry a quick hug. "There's something I would like to ask you while you are at Hogwarts."

"What?" Harry asked suddenly.

"I want to ask you to stay away from Orochimaru. I talked with Alastor and he told me what that man did and I don't want you around someone like that." Sirius explained.

"Don't worry Sirius, I want to be around him as much as you do." Harry replied.

"Alright. I think you should be going now, you don't want to miss the Hogwarts express again, do you?" Sirius teased, before giving one last hug to Harry.

"See you during the holidays." Harry said his goodbye, before leaving the bathroom. Upon exiting the bathroom, Harry found himself face to face with Moody.

"Did you hear everything you need to know?" Moody asked suddenly.

"Um, yeah." Harry replied awkwardly. "I should really be going now." Harry continued, before he ran off, trying to catch up with the Weasley's and Hermione.

* * *

 **On the Hogwarts express**

"Man, that was tiring." Ron complained as he fell onto the seat in one of the compartments.

"I know what you mean, everyone's in a rush to get to their friends." Hermione said, taking a seat next to Harry. "Harry?" Hermione asked, noticing the distant look in Harry's eyes.

"Yes?" Harry asked suddenly.

"What's wrong? you seem distant." Hermione asked.

"I was just thinking about something Sirius said to me... He wants me to stay away from Orochimaru. While I wasn't originally going to go out of my way to talk to Orochimaru, I wonder why Sirius is so worried about him." Harry replied

"He's probably just worried mate. Don't think about it too much." Ron said.

A knock at the door brought Harry out of his thoughts. Looking at the door, Harry was shocked to see the one they were discussing. "Yes?" Harry asked cautiously.

"No need to be so nervous Harry-kun. I merely wish to discuss something with you." Orochimaru replied.

'Sirius said not to speak to him, but avoiding him will be hard. I suppose I should just see what he wants.' Harry thought, before opening the door.

"Thank you. If my suspicions prove to be wrong then this will be a short conversation." Orochimaru said.

Harry almost didn't want to ask. "And if your suspicions are proven right?" He asked.

"Then you and I will have something to talk about." Orochimaru replied, a smile stretching across his face.

"So what do you want?" Harry asked nervously.

"How did you get that mark on your forehead. Someone gave it to you, didn't they?" Orochimaru asked suddenly.

"Yes, Voldemort gave me this scar when I was a baby. Why do you want to know?" Harry glanced back at Hermione and Ron.

Orochimaru chuckled. "All in good time, Harry-kun." Orochimaru said, before continuing his questions. "Tell me, do you share any traits with this Voldemort. It could be anything, eye colour, personality traits or even something genetic."

"I think I know where you're going with this. Dumbledore told me that Voldemort accidentally gave me some of his power. Is that all you wanted to know?" Harry asked, growing frustrated with Orochimaru's questions.

"So you know that you share some traits with Voldemort? Interesting." Orochimaru said. "There's one final thing that I would like to confirm that will change the direction of this conversation." Orochimaru continued. 'This is more Naruto-kun's and Bee's expertise, but I should be able to do it.' He thought as he presented his fist to Harry. "Bump it with your fist."

Not seeing any harm, Harry bumped Orochimaru's fist before his world twisted and all that he could see was blackness. "What the... Where am I, what did you do to me?" Harry asked suddenly.

"Kukuku, calm yourself Harry-kun. This is the last thing that I want to check." Orochimaru's voice echoed throughout the darkness. "Now where are you, I can feel you here. Found you." Orochimaru said, before the darkness faded away and Harry found himself back in his compartment.

"What was that? Where were we? How did we get back here?" Harry asked quickly. "Did you see it too?" Harry asked Ron and Hermione.

"See what mate? all you did was knock your fist against his and then you started asking us questions." Ron said.

"Ron's right Harry, you've been here all along." Hermione added.

"No, but I was in the darkness and Orochimaru said he was looking for something and... What did you do?" Harry asked, glaring at Orochimaru.

"Kukuku. It seems that I have an offer for you Harry-kun. Tell me, would you like to know the truth about your scar?" Orochimaru offered, a twisted smile stretching across his face.

* * *

An: And there we have it, chapter 7 is done. This chapter was difficult to write, not because I didn't know what to write, but because I just couldn't write. As I said earlier, it might be a few days before my next update for this story. Thank's for reading this chapter, if you feel like it, please leave a review.


	8. Chapter 8

An: Hello all, please allow me to introduce you to chapter 8 of Hogwarts Overkill. Thank you to all of you who Follow, Favorite and Review this story, all of you inspire me to write more. If you feel like it, please review this story, reading reviews motivates me to try and get chapters out quicker. Enough of that, onto the show.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter and that's alright because I have a nice cup of tea.

* * *

 **Chapter 8: Arriving at Hogwarts**

The compartment was quiet with the only sound coming from the train's movement. "Harry's scar is just that, a scar." Hermione said, breaking the deafening silence.

"That is where you are wrong." Orochimaru glanced at Hermione. "Tell me Harry-kun, is this Voldemort person alive."

Harry grit his teeth as he remembered Voldemort's resurrection. "Yes." He ground out.

"But he wasn't always alive, was he?" Orochimaru asked, a dark look appearing on his face.

"He was alive, but severely weakened." Hermione butted in.

"I see. I will need to study this Voldemort person later on." Orochimaru mused, gaining shocked looks from the occupants of the compartment. "Harry-kun, that scar on your head is more than just a scar." Orochimaru began.

"And how would you know that?" Harry asked rudely.

"During my life I was in search of immortality and I created something that would keep me alive, even if my body was destroyed." Orochimaru explained. "The thing I created is called the Curse Seal, it creates a link between me and the person who is marked with it. I leave a small piece of my consciousness behind, so long as a single Curse Seal remained, I would not truly die." Hermione gasped, having figured out what Orochimaru was getting at.

"And... and you think... that my scar is like your Curse Seal." Harry asked, feeling sick to his stomach.

"No Harry-kun. I know that the scar on your head is like my Curse Seal. I just confirmed it when we bumped fists." Orochimaru replied.

"But... can a Curse Seal be removed?" Harry asked quietly.

"There are a few ways to remove my Curse Seal, the first way is death of the marked person." Orochimaru began.

"Not bloody likely. Like hell I'll let Harry die because of Voldemort." Ron interrupted, angry at the suggestion that Harry would have to die for them to be rid of Voldemort.

Orochimaru sighed. It seemed that everyone wanted to interrupt him while he was explaining things. "The second way a Curse Seal can be removed is by sealing it, but that is extremely painful and could leave you hospitalised for a few days." Orochimaru paused, waiting for someone to interrupt him. Noticing that none of them were going to interrupt him, Orochimaru continued. "The final way a Curse Seal can be removed is by simply removing it."

"Wait, you can do that?" Hermione asked suddenly.

"Yes." Orochimaru replied, before turning towards Harry. "I would like to make a deal with you Harry-kun. I would like to study your scar and in exchange I will remove this Voldemort person from it. I assure you that no one knows more about my Curse Seal than me and if your scar is anything like my Curse Seal, then you will have no problems."

"Why would you help me, what do you have to gain from this?" Harry asked cautiously.

"I assure you that this is nothing more than curiosity. I want to know how this Voldemort was able to create something similar to my Curse Seal." Orochimaru explained, wondering if he should add something that will make Harry more accepting of his offer. "Tell me something Harry-kun, is there anything you want."

"What do you mean?" Harry asked stiffly.

"Exactly what I said Harry-kun. Is there anything that you want, do you want me to kill anyone. No, you don't seem the type to want anyone dead." Orochimaru reasoned. "Maybe you want someone brought back. What do you think Harry-kun? Should you allow me to study your scar, I'll bring back any person that you request, but I am going to limit the amount of people being brought back to three."

"That's impossible. No magic can bring back the dead." Hermione said suddenly.

"Kukuku, when did I ever say that I use magic." Orochimaru began. "No. The power Naruto-kun, Bee and I use isn't magic, but something entirely different."

"Oi, Orochimaru." Naruto opened the compartment door. "What's taking you so long. You were supposed to help me guard the inside of the train, Bee's already guarding the roof."

"Ah Naruto-kun, I apologies for not being on time, but I was having an interesting conversation with young Harry-kun here." Orochimaru explained.

"Is it true?" Harry asked quietly.

"Is what true?" Naruto asked.

"Can Orochimaru really bring back the dead?" Harry asked suddenly.

"What the hell were you guys talking about?" Naruto looked at Orochimaru, before sighing. "Yes it's true, I've seen a few techniques that bring back the dead, Hell, I've even helped in the use of one technique. Orochimaru can bring back the dead, but unlike those techniques that I have seen used, the resurrection isn't a full resurrection. The resurrected will retain their personality that they had in life and they will be that person, but their body is different." Naruto said, not wanting to tell the three wizards anything further.

"What do you mean by different?" Hermioine asked, sounding as if she didn't really want to know.

"Their body is rendered immortal. Should any harm come to them, they regenerate." Orochimaru explained, before he looked to Naruto. "I have to say that I'm surprised by how much you know about that technique."

"When I was hunting you, I thought that it would be good to know about some of your more powerful techniques work." Naruto explained. "Anyway, we should start guarding the train now." Naruto said, before leaving the compartment.

"Think about my offer Harry-kun and when you're ready, come find me." Orochimaru said, before leaving the compartment, giving the trio some space to consider his offer.

Once Orochimaru was outside of the compartment, He began a short chain of hand signs, before muttering something under his breath.

"What was that?" Naruto asked, wondering what Orochimaru had just done.

"Just an E-rank Genjustu, it's designed to keep civilians from spreading village secrets, but it is not used anymore because it was deemed too inefficient." Orochimaru explained.

"You know what, so long as you aren't harming anyone, I don't mind." Naruto said, before walking off to guard his section of the train.

"Trust me Naruto-kun. This will be more beneficial in the end." Orochimaru muttered, before walking in the opposite direction.

* * *

Back in the compartment the three friends sat in an awkward silence. "What are you going to do Harry?" Hermione asked softly.

"I don't know Hermione, I just don't know." Harry replied. "Can we please just talk about this later, it's too much to deal with on top of Voldemort's return and the minister's refusal to see the truth." Harry asked, looking towards Ron and Hermione.

"Sure Harry." Hermione said.

"No problem mate." Ron smiled.

* * *

The train ride had been long and boring for the Ninja's. While it had initially been fun for Bee, standing on top of the train for a few hours had gotten boring fast. Needless to say, the three ninja were glad when the train finally came to a stop so they could eat some Ramen, hold a rap concert, study the numerous magical beings at Hogwarts. Deciding to stay out of sight, the three ninja quickly climbed onto the roof of the train, before anyone could see them.

"So where is this Hogwarts place?" Naruto asked as he watched the numerous students below rush off down the road.

"I don't know, just follow the flow." Bee rapped. "Let's follow the last, it won't be a task. Yeah."

Nodding at Bee's suggestion, the group silently watched as the number of witches and wizards slowly thinned, until all that was left was a small group. Noticing who it was, Naruto decided to forgo stealth.

Jumping down, Naruto startled the group with his sudden appearance. "Yo." He greeted cheerfully. "This is awkward, but could you lead us to Hogwarts?" Naruto asked, gesturing towards the two ninja standing on top of the train.

"Um... Sure." Harry said hesitantly, before leading the group towards Hogwarts.

"Thanks." Naruto replied, before gesturing for the two ninja to follow. Jumping down, the two ninja landed next to Naruto.

"Hello again." Orochimaru greeted the group.

"Hey yo, let's get to the show." Bee rapped.

"H...Harry, who are they?" Neville stuttered, wondering who the odd group in front of him was.

"I'll tell you later." Harry said, before leading the group to Hogwarts.

* * *

Upon entering the gates Harry paused at the sight of a winged skeletal horse standing in front of the self pulling carriage. "What is that thing?" Harry asked suddenly.

"What do you mean Harry, there's nothing there." Hermione replied, glancing at the empty spot that Harry was looking at.

"Wait a second." Naruto interrupted. "Are you telling me that you don't see THAT." Naruto pointed at the skeletal horse.

"There's nothing there." Hermione stated firmly.

"Actually there is something there." An airy voice came from the carriage. Moving closer, the group found that a petite blonde haired girl was sitting the carriage, reading a book upside down. Placing the book next to her, the blonde haired girl looked at the group that was staring at her. "Hello mister Fox. How was your trip to Hogwarts?" she asked in her airy tone, staring at Naruto.

"Um, what? How did you know that?" Naruto asked, not understanding how the odd girl in front of him could know that he is a Jinchuriki.

"Oh, I see you brought some friends with you. Hello mister Oxtopus. Hello mister Snake." The odd girl greeted Bee and Orochimaru.

"Kukuku, what an interesting girl." Orochimaru commented while Bee just gave the girl thumbs up.

"I'm afraid that there isn't enough space to fit everyone in the carriage, so someone might have to stay behind." The odd girl explained.

"That's okay. I'll follow." Naruto said, glad that he didn't have to sit in another slow and boring vehicle.

The group quickly climbed into the carriage. Bee made himself comfortable, before raising his hand, stopping Orochimaru from climbing in. "Hey, no more room or this'll be a tomb." He rapped, gesturing towards the full chairs.

Nodding at Bee's words, Orochimaru decided to follow Naruto's example and walk alongside the carriage.

"That was mean mister Oxtopus, if you had just moved your scale stick, we would have had enough room for him." The petite girl gestured to Bee's sword.

"Then I would have had to hold Samehada with all my might, that aint very tight." Bee said.

"That's alright, your scale stick can sit there all it wants." The petite girl replied.

Noticing that the odd conversation was over, Hermione decided to introduces everyone to the petite girl. "Everyone this is Looney... I mean Luna Lovegood." Hermione awkwardly introduced Everyone to Luna. "That's an interesting necklace." Hermione said, hoping to make the ride less awkward.

"It's a charm actually, it keeps away the Nargles." Luna explained.

The group finally arrived at Hogwarts after an awkward few minutes . Walking up the steps, the young witches and wizards were surprised to see Severus Snape waiting at the enterence. "I have been expecting you. Albus Dumbledore asked me to escort you to the Great Hall, If you will follow me please." Snape said, before leading the three ninja into the castle.

Following Snape, the three ninja quickly found themselves standing in a room filled with students sitting at four different tables. Walking towards the back of the room, the ninja's were greeted to the sight of a second table with one Albus Dumbledore sitting at its centre.

"Good, you're all here. I'd like to ask that take a seat while I give an announcement." Dumbledore began. Walking over to the podium. "Good evening children. Now we have two changes in staff. It pleases me to welcome back Professor Kettleburn who will be taking care of magical creatures while Professor Hagrid is on temporary leave. We also wish to welcome our new defence against the dark arts teacher Professor Dolores Umbridge. Now I would also like to welcome the first arrival of our guards for the year, mister Naruto Uzumaki, Orochimaru and Killer Bee." Albus announced, gesturing towards the three shinobi sitting at the head table.

"Hem Hem." Umbridge interrupted. "This is most unusual Dumbledore. This school doesn't need any guards, send them away at once."

"I apologise, but that will not happen. Regardless of what you choose to believe happened last year, the fact remains that a boy was murdered last year." Dumbledore replied.

"I will be contacting the minister about this." Umbridge announced immediately, before leaving the Great Hall.

Looking back to the crowd of children Dumbledore went back to his speech. "I would like to ask you not to bother our guards with questions, they are simply here to keep Hogwarts safe. Now please enjoy your dinner." Dumbledore finished.

"Who do you think they'll send?" Naruto asked.

"They will probably send one ninja from the five nations. Seeing as there is already a Kumo ninja here, the next few that will come will be from Suna, Iwa and Kiri." Orochimaru reasoned.

"This year's gonna be fun, better start with a run." Bee rapped, looking forward to rapping to ninja from four of the five nations. "My beats are like treats. Yeah."

* * *

An: Chapter 8 is done, man my neck is sore, I must have slept wrong. Thanks for reading and if you feel up to it, please leave a review


	9. Chapter 9

An: Hello everyone, welcome to chapter 9 of Hogwarts Overkill. Thanks to all those who Read, Review, Follow and Favorite this story, it's nice to know that you enjoy my story. If you feel like it, please leave a review, reviews help inspire me and make me want to write a chapter sooner.

Now I'm not sure how many of you have noticed, but I haven't updated in the past few days. I haven't updated because it was getting too difficult to write two thousand words a day, edit it and then publish it, so I will now be updating every second to third day. Enough of my bantering, onto the show.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter... I know, it sucks that I don't own them, but I do own my own book... That I'm still trying to get published.

* * *

 **Chapter 9: First day at Hogwarts**

The Great Hall was filled with the sound of students talking to each other as they ate their dinners. Looking down at his food, Naruto let out a frustrated sigh. 'Damnit, not this again.' Naruto thought as his sight caught the knife and fork next to his plate. Picking up the fork, Naruto nudged the food on his plate, wondering if he should just eat with his hands again. Deciding that he would not be beaten by such simple cutlery, Naruto jabbed his fork into the piece of meat on his plate. Lifting the meat closer to his face, Naruto was tempted to cheer at his success.

"Why hello there. I must admit that I have never seen you before. Excuse my manners, you may call me Sir Nicholas. What may I call you?" Nicholas asked, standing in front of Naruto.

Scowling at the interruption of the moment he could finally enjoy his meal, Naruto glared up at nick, before his face paled. "HOLY MOTHER OF CHAKRA." Naruto yelled, bringing the attention of the occupants of the Great Hall to him as he jumped to the ceiling, seemingly standing upside down.

"This is highly unusual." Nicholas commented while he stared at the upside down ninja.

"Kukuku. I must apologise for Naruto's behaviour, he was startled by Sir Nicholas's appearance." Orochimaru apologised to Dumbledore, before turning towards Sir Nicholas. "I must ask. What are you? You seem to be a ghost, but I am unsure due to the things I have seen in this magical world."

"No problem my good chap." Nicholas replied. "I actually am a ghost. I've been a ghost for almost five hundred years." He explained.

"I apologise for interrupting your conversation Sir Nicholas, but I would like to finish dinner and I believe that Naruto would appreciate it if you would vacate the area." Dumbledore interrupted, pointing towards the ceiling where Naruto was standing.

"I shall make myself scarce then." Nicholas said, taking one last glance at Naruto before leaving.

"You can come down now Naruto-kun. The ghost is gone." Orochimaru began.

Looking around cautiously, Naruto silently dropped down next to his chair. Silently taking his seat, Naruto's eyes darted back and forth as he watched the ghosts floating in the room. Noticing that none of the ghosts were approaching his table, Naruto went back to eating his food. 'Damnit, I was just getting the hang of these things." Naruto thought as he stared at the knife and fork sitting on his plate.

* * *

Within the crowd of startled children sat two scheming red heads.

"Hey Fred." George began.

"Yeah George?" Fred continued.

"We're going to use this, aren't we?" George asked.

"His fear of ghosts?" Fred replied.

"Yes." George answered.

The twins grinned as they thought of numerous pranks that they could pull on Naruto.

* * *

With dinner finished, the students were led off to bed until all that remained in the Great Hall was the three ninja, Dumbledore and Snape. "Now that the students have gone to bed, I would like all three of you present for the arrival of the additional three shinobi who will be arriving tomorrow." Dumbledore explained.

"While we have no problem with that, I believe that it is important that we know more details of the mission we have been hired for." Orochimaru replied.

"While I originally wanted the second team to be here while I went through the full details, I will tell you the basics. I have hired you to protect Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry and its inhabitants, this applies to the students. Should you find anything threatening them or causing harm, you are to stop it." Dumbledore said. "I will give a more in depth explanation when the additional shinobi arrive. Now I believe that it is time that we all retire to bed. Professor Snape will lead you to your sleeping quarters." Dumbledore added

'Protect the students? That sounds simple enough.' Naruto thought as Snape led them to their new bedroom. Feeling as if he was forgetting something, Naruto wondered what it could be. 'Crap, I forgot to bring my bed with me.'

* * *

The next day, Harry, Hermione and Ron found themselves eating breakfast in the Great Hall. Harry let out a yawn as he tried not to think about the dark hallway that appeared in his dream the previous night.

"You alright there mate?" Ron asked.

"Yeah, I just didn't get enough sleep last night." Harry replied, his eyes drooping tiredly.

"Well that's no excuse not to eat a good breakfast. Honestly Harry, you should take better care of yourself." Hermione added, not looking away from her book. "You should hurry up and eat, I expect that we will be going to class soon."

"Whatever you say Hermione." Harry muttered, before shovelling a fork full of scrambled eggs into his mouth.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Hermione asked suddenly, her gaze on the three ninja sitting at their table. "Maybe it's about those other shinobi that are going to be joining them." She thought aloud.

"Other shinobi? What do you mean other shinobi?" Ron asked, his mouth filled with his breakfast.

"Honestly Ron, don't you ever pay attention? Dumbledore said that they are the first group to arrive, meaning that there's going to be a second group arriving soon." Hermione explained, before looking back at the three ninja. "Whatever they're talking about must be very interesting."

* * *

Naruto smiled happily as he prodded his breakfast with a fork. "And then I blew up the demon with my Planetary Rasengan and rescued Princess Ramen-chan. Not long after that, Princess Ramen-chan and I were engaged to be married and for some reason Orochimaru was the one that would be marrying us and Octopops was giving a speech about the purity of love between a man and Ramen. Weird, huh?" Naruto mused, recounting his dream to Orochimaru and Bee.

"While most would definitely demand that you be placed in an insane asylum, I don't think many have the power to force you to go." Orochimaru replied. "Yes Naruto-kun, that is most definitely a weird dream."

Bee merely nodded his head to what Orochimaru said, not knowing what to say about Naruto's obsession with Ramen.

"What's with them?" Naruto asked, noticing that the majority of the students were rushing out of the Great Hall. At Orochimaru's shrug Naruto sighed. "I'm gonna follow them." He said. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto muttered as numerous puffs of smoke surrounded him. "Follow the students and make sure nothing happens to them." Naruto ordered.

The clones gave a quick salute, before marching off, determined to follow the students.

Noticing that their client was walking towards them, Naruto gave a short wave with a quick greeting. "Yo."

"Good morning. That is a most interesting skill you have there, but I'm afraid that I didn't come here to ask you about it." Dumbledore admitted. "I would like for you three to follow me, the other shinobi will be arriving shortly." Dumbledore said, before leading the group of shinobi to his office.

* * *

Naruto's clone sighed. He just had to be the clone that followed Harry's group, Naruto clone number seven just had to be following Harry's group into what he overheard them saying was their Defence against the Dark Arts class. Leaning against the wall at the back of the class, the clone watched as the students settled into their chairs, talking to one another.

Naruto's clone watched as the doors silently opened before a woman covered in pink clothing entered the room. "Good morning children." She said as she walked towards the front of the class. Flicking her wand, words began to appear on the chalk board. "Ordinary Wizarding Levels examinations. O.W.L's, more commonly known as OWL's. Study hard and you will be rewarded, fail to do so and the consequences may be sever." Umbridge added.

Looking towards the back of the class, Umbridge caught sight of the orange clad ninja. "I am going to have to ask you to leave. You have no business in my classroom." Umbridge began, her sights set on Naruto.

"Look lady, I'm just here to do my job and I'm not even interrupting. Hell, no one even notice I was here until you looked to the back of the class." Naruto replied.

"And what job is it that you have? Guarding the school? Who could possibly harm any of these students here in my class room." Umbridge continued. "I am sorry to say, but you have been grievously misinformed by Dumbledore. There is no one out there that wants to hurt any of these students. Now I must ask you again, leave my classroom, or you may find yourself out of a job."

"Only the client or the Hokage has the power to cancel the mission. Too bad for you that you're neither." Naruto said, growing annoyed at the pink clothed womans bickering.

Umbridge smiled. "Your, as you put it, mission will no doubt be cancelled soon as i've seen fit to inform Minister Fudge. Should you not heed my words, I will inform the Minister that both you and this Hokage be out of a job." Umbridge replied nastily.

Naruto scowled at Umbridge, even though she didn't know what she was talking about, the fact that she just assumed that her Ministry had authority in his world just pissed him off. "Now listen here you toad reject. If you don't shut up right now and let me do my job, I will personally take a kunai and jam it so far up your ass that not even Sakura will be able to remove it." Naruto growled out, unconsciously letting out a tiny amount of killing intent, making the entire room nervous.

"N...now see here. Should you at...attempt to harm me, you will find yourself locked up in Azkaban." Umbridge stuttered, her wand aimed at Naruto.

"If you don't let me do my job, you'll find yourself with my kunai up your ass." Naruto said, pulling out a kunai and twirling it around his finger. "Now let me do my job." He added, before placing his kunai back into its holster.

Turning back towards the class, Umbridge flicked her wand towards the books resting on her table. "N...now class, from now on you will be following a carefully structured lesson plan." Umbridge stuttered as the books moved to each of the students desks.

* * *

Three ninja and one wizard stood within the Headmasters office, seemingly waiting for something.

Naruto sighed, bored of waiting for the additional ninja. "I feel like one of my clones did something stupid." He muttered.

"You can mark that as an improvement then." Orochimaru commented, noticing Naruto's questioning gaze, he continued. "You said that it was only one."

"Did... did you just make a joke?" Naruto asked, wondering if he was under a Genjutsu.

The room seemed to twist a little, before three people appeared in front of the ninja. Looking over the new group of ninja, Naruto recognised two of the three ninja. "Hey Kankuro, I was kind of expecting Gaara." Naruto said.

"Why would Gaara be going on this mission. Gaara's a Kage, he has other things to do, like taking care of a village." Kankuro replied, warily eying Orochimaru.

"And you're that chick that called me a minion." Naruto said, looking at the woman clad in red and brown.

"The name's Kurotsuchi, you better remember it." Kurotsuchi introduced herself.

Looking towards the man clad in blue and dark blue, Naruto didn't recognise him. "Um, who are you?" Naruto asked.

"I... I'm Chojuro. It's nice to meet you." Chojuro stuttered.

"Kukuku. Before we continue with pleasantries, I believe it best that we know everything this mission entails." Orochimaru said, his gaze set on Dumbledore.

* * *

An: And there we have it, chapter 9. As I asked earlier, if you feel like it, please leave me a review.

Thanks for reading.


	10. Chapter 10

An: Hello all, Kir C here. Now before you get angry at me for not updating for so long, let me say that I have a very good reason. I mean a good reason. I mean a reason... I don't really have a reason for not updating. I guess you could say that I had a small bout of depression and I thought that if I write something else, it might help... It didn't really help... During my small bout of depression, I realized something important... I had lost my muchness... I thought back to 2015 when I was writing my novel and I realized that I was much more then than I was now... I don't really know what caused me to lose my muchness, but I know that the loss was accelerated due to things that have happened this year. If you want to get on to the story, skip the bold text and you should be by the chapter. What comes next is how I experienced 2017.

 **Earlier this year, I lost someone important to me, my Grandmother. We took her to a hospital and they said that they think she had cancer. When I found out, I was upset and went in to see here alone, We hugged and after that she asked me to do something for her, she asked me to be strong for my family, strong enough for my mom and my sisters. I agreed that I would be strong for them and then we left her at the hospital for more tests. A few days later we found out that she did indeed have cancer, the moment she found out, she asked if we were going to be okay and the moment she heard that we would, she died, this made me both sad and proud at the same time. Sad that she died, but so proud that I knew her and inspired by her determination... She was so stubborn that she literally held of death, she refused to die until she knew we would be alright. I knew for the past few years that her health was rapidly declining and she should have actually been dead for quite a few years and yet she refused to let go.**

 **The day she died was tough, it was sudden, we literally just found out that she had cancer and were about to go see her and then she let go. At the moment of her death, her last request to me played through my mind. Be strong for your family. So I did just that, while others cried, I was there to make sure that they were alright, even though I was being torn apart on the inside, I did my best to smile and be there for everyone. I held it all in and I made sure that everyone was okay, they could cry, but I couldn't, someone has to carry that Determination, that sheer will. She once said that she didn't cry at funerals because someone has to be strong for those that can't be. I carried that to her funeral, so when everyone was mourning, I was handing them tissues and I was checking on everyone. I was closest with my Grandmother, so her death hit me hard, I still feel upset when I remember that she's gone, but I will never let the lessons she taught me in life go to waste, I will always carry her in my heart and I will do my best to be strong for my family and those I care about.**

 **A few months down the line, I get more shocking news, The man who was my brother in all but blood died, he was engaged to be married and he died in a car crash. More heart breaking news. He was so young, not even in his thirties and he died in an accident, only a few hundred meters away from his home. I didn't go to his funeral, because I had a fever and my body wasn't in the best of conditions. As i did before, I comforted my family who was equally effected by his death. At this stage, I was beginning to feel a bit shattered. If I could use imagery from an anime, I would use the scene where Obito became the Juubi jinchuriki and it was overwhelming him, being pulled apart from the inside as you thrash about, doing your best to pull yourself back together. The thing that actually made me depressed was Metalocalypse the doomstar requiem... more specifically the 'I would do it all for my brother' song, the song kind of described how I felt about him. I'll always carry him in my heart.**

 **A few months passed and I was beginning to feel a bit better, I even got my first job, but that job was a bad idea, my boss seemed like a nice guy at first, friendly and everything, the job was boring, but I kind of expected that, on the third day of my new job, my boss told me to do something, I did it and then he said I did it wrong, I tried to do it again and apparently I did it wrong. I did it again and again, but every time he said I forgot something, when he didn't even tell me to do that. He eventually started getting rude, calling me names and swearing at me, even though I was doing my best with the faulty equipment that he had there and even getting cut moving some wiring. I decided that I wasn't in any state of mind to work and quit my job, this was one of the only times I wasn't strong this year.**

 **Fast forward a few months to around October. During January I had given my book to a man that I know and he said he would publish it, it was my third draft and he said that he would edit it, fix some mistakes I might have missed and then he would publish it. I was excited and seeing as I hadn't heard anything from him for most of the year, I sent him a message. The reply I got was that my book is filled with mistakes and that I need to fix those. Not only did he not do what he said he would, he didn't even tell me that he wasn't doing anything. Almost an entire year that I could have used, sending my book to other publishers and working on it more wasted because he didn't tell me that I had to edit my book myself, for the fourth time.**

 **So yeah, this year has not been my best year, I'm kind of actually hoping that next year is my year because this year was just shit. I'm sorry about the whole rant on my life, I just felt that it was finally time that I get this out because this was just boiling inside of me. Thanks for listening, my readers.**

So, I've got some good news about this story, the first being that it is not dead and the second being that I have finished a story plan for it, there are about seventeen to eighteen more chapters left before this story is finished, that's still quite a bit left. Thanks to all those who continued to support this story even when I wasn't writing it. You guys are awesome, you don't even know how happy it makes me to see people are still enjoying it. Please continue your support, i enjoy writing and your follows, favorites and reviews show me that others enjoy my writing.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Harry Potter... But if I did, I would totally make a crossover... kind of like this one.

* * *

 **Chapter 10: The mission begins**

Noticing that the group of Shinobi were all looking to him, Dumbledore decided it was finally time to brief the team on just what their mission entailed. "Before I brief you on your mission, I would like to ask you to please wear these, they will help you understand our language and translate yours." Dumbledore explained, handing out a ring to each of the newly arrived Shinobi.

Not waiting for the Shinobi to put the rings on, Dumbledore continued. "Now, I believe that you know the details of your mission." Dumbledore let out a sigh as he thought just what these Shinobi would be guarding Hogwarts from. "There was an incident last year that resulted in the resurrection of the most powerful dark lord in this century, he is currently in hiding, amassing his armies and regaining his former strength." Dumbledore paused to take a breath. "He will soon have an army of dark creatures and wizards and it is your job to protect Hogwarts, its students and teachers from this."

"Could you explain what kind of dark creatures we could expect?" Kurotsuchi asked.

"While I most certainly could tell you about the dark creatures that I think Voldemort would have under his command, it would take all day and there is a better way to do it." Dumbledore replied. Grabbing a book from his table, Dumbledore handed it to Kurotsuchi. "In that book you will find an assortment of dark creatures, their name, what they look like and what they can do. Are there any more questions?"

"C...could you supply us with a roster of all the students and teachers, their names and what they look like." Chojuro respectfully requested, feeling nervous due to being surrounded by numerous powerful Shinobi.

"I will supply you with a full roster of Hogwarts and all of its inhabitants." Dumbledore said, nodding his head.

"kukuku, I would also like to make a request." Orochimaru began, drawing Dumbledore's attention. "I would like to request the use of an empty room, preferably somewhere that is rarely bothered."

Dumbledore eyed Orochimaru cautiously. "And what would you need an empty room for?" He asked, not liking the hungry gleam in Orochimaru's eyes.

"I need an empty room for my lab." Orochimaru replied. "You see, my mission here is twofold. While I must follow your parameters and protect this school and all of its inhabitants, I was also tasked to study Naruto-kun's body and I need my laboratory to do that." Orochimaru explained, gesturing towards Naruto.

Glancing between Naruto and Orochimaru, Dumbledore sighed. "If I deny your request, you will just find another place, won't you?" Dumbledore asked.

"Yes." Orochimaru replied.

"I will allow you to use an empty classroom, but there is to be a teacher present to oversee your study, that is non-negotiable." Dumbledore said. "Are there any other questions or requests?"

"I want a giant bowl of Ramen that I can swi..." Naruto began, but was interrupted by Kurotsuchi bonking him on his head.

"Baka. You're only supposed to ask for things that are essential to the mission, like information." Kurotsuchi scolded Naruto.

Naruto scowled at Kurotsuchi. "I will have you know that I take Ramen very seriously." Naruto said darkly. "Ramen is life. Ramen is love. Ramen is all."

Noticing that Naruto wasn't going to end his Ramen rant anytime soon, Killer B decided to make a request of his own. "Hey yo, can we get a place to fight for the right of might?" He rapped.

"That's odd, the ring has never failed to translate a language before." Dumbledore began, looking at the ring on Killer B's hand oddly. "The enchantment must not have been applied correctly."

"The ring works fine." Orochimaru said, drawing Dumbledore's attention back to him. "Killer B talks in rap, his words often rhyme, even if they don't really make any sense." Orochimaru explained, gesturing towards Killer B. "He asked you if there is a place where we can spar."

Nodding at Orochimaru's explanation, Dumbledore turned towards Killer B. "There are a few places where you could spar." Dumbledore began. "You could spar by the lake, on the Quidditch field or even in the Forbidden Forest, but I must warn you that there are mermaids in the lake alongside a giant octopus and numerous dangerous creatures in the forest."

"I'll check them out, there'll be no doubt." Killer B rapped.

Although he didn't really understand Killer B, Dumbledore nodded regardless. "Good, now if that is all, you may begin guarding the school." Dumbledore said. Allowing the large group of Shinobi to leave, with the exception of two who were still in the middle of a discussion.

"Thy Ramen comfort me, I shall not want. I shall walk hand in hand with thy noodly goodness and I shall fear no thirst for thy broth is within me. RAMEN." Naruto finished, placing his hand on Kurotsuchi's head. "Welcome to the sacred bond of Ramenhood."

Kurotsuchi grit her teeth as her eyebrow twitched in anger. "Get your hand off of my head before I melt it off." She ground out. Noticing that Naruto immediately removed his hand from her head, Kurotsuchi smirked. "Good. Now if you ever mention Ramen to me and try and get me to join your stupid Ramen cult, I will do such horrible things to you that even Orochimaru would think I went overboard. Now let's go before we get left behind." Kurotsuchi said, as she began to walk after the group of ninja that left her behind with an overpowered Ramen loving idiot.

'She's as scary as Sakura-chan.' Naruto thought as he followed Kurotsuchi.

Walking down the headmasters' stairs, the group of ninja stopped just outside of the stairwell, waiting for Naruto and Kurotsuchi.

Seeing Kurotsuchi and Naruto finally make their way down the stairs, Orochimaru began explaining his idea. "Seeing as Killer B, Naruto-kun and I have been here for a few days longer, I believe it is best that we form pairs so we can share what we have learned from our days here." Pausing to make sure that everyone was paying attention, Orochimaru continued. "I will go with Kankuro..."

"Hell no, I'd rather go with Killer B or Naruto than you." Kankuro interrupted, not willing to be paired with the man who tried to use his village and more importantly, his brother to destroy the leaf.

"Then you can go with Killer B while I go with Chojuro." Orochimaru said.

"Now hold on just a..." Kurotsuchi began, but was interrupted by Orochimaru.

"Chojuro and I will handle the upper parts of the castle, Killer B and Kankuro will handle the middle and the outside while Naruto and Kurotsuchi will handle the dungeons. We meet at the main hall in one hour." Orochimaru continued, grabbing Chojuro, the duo disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

"Well, we may as well follow Orochimaru's plan." Kankuro said, walking off with Killer B. "So tell me about this place.

Looking at the angry Kurotsuchi, Naruto gulped. 'Crap, why do I have to be stuck with her.' Naruto thought. "Um, So I guess I should tell you about this place."

* * *

With Orochimaru and Chojuro

Appearing on one of the upper levels of Hogwarts, Orochimaru chuckled. "kukuku, I think I understand why Naruto-kun likes to pull pranks." He said to himself as he walked down the hallway.

"U...um excuse me, but what do you mean by that?" Chojuro asked timidly, not liking being alone with the former most wanted man in the elemental nations.

"Hmmm, I was merely thinking about how badly Naruto-kun's and Kurotsuchi-chan's personalities clash, they're both hot headed and stubborn thus they will clash with each other on numerous occasions." Orochimaru explained.

"O...Oh, I think I understand now." Chojuro replied. "So what can you tell me about this place."

"It is an isolated castle that is used as a school, it is surrounded by a forest on one side and a lake on the other. From my understanding, there is a path that leads to a small village that the students of this school seem to go to from time to time." Orochimaru replied, listing off all the things he knew about the school. "But the most interesting thing about this place is its inhabitants."

"It's inhabitants?" Chojuro asked curiously.

"The students and teachers, they can use what they call magic, you have probably already been briefed on this, but what you probably don't know is that it allows them to manipulate the world around them. At first I thought it was a diluted form of chakra, but it isn't, they have no chakra in their bodies. There are also different creatures and even ghosts."

Before Chojuro could voice his questions, the schools bell rang, signalling the end of class. Noticing the large amount of students walking out of their classes, the two ninja quickly moved out of the way.

Within the crowd, two redheads caught sight of Orochimaru.

"Hey, aren't you that guy that with the talking snake?" Fred asked

"I believe he is, brother of mine." George replied

"Awesome, who's that standing next to him?" Fred asked

"I don't know, let's find out." George added.

Walking up to the two Shinobi, George tapped Orochimaru on his shoulder.

"Hello good fellow." Fred greeted.

"Good to see you again." George added.

"We couldn't help but notice." Fred said.

"That you have someone else with you." George noted.

"It's nice to meet you. I'm Fred" Fred greeted.

"And I'm George." George continued.

"What's that thing on your back?" Fred asked.

"It kind of looks like that think Killer B carries around." George realised.

"Odd name Killer B." Fred rambled.

"Do you think his first name is Killer?" George asked

"And his last name B." Fred stated.

Unable to keep up with Fred and George randomly finishing each others sentences, Chojuro said the only thing he could think of. "Um, what."

"Oh, would you look at the time." Fred looked at his wrist, even though it didn't have a watch on it.

"It's lunch time, say." George began.

"Why don't you join us?" Fred continued.

"The both of you, that is." George finished.

Considering the twins invitation, Orochimaru nodded. "Yes, we would like to join you for lunch. Would you mind answering a few of my questions while we walk?" Orochimaru asked. At the twins nod, Orochimaru continued. "Excellent, now tell me, what can you do with those wooden sticks of yours."

* * *

With Kankuro and Killer B

"So where are we going?" Kankuro asked, wondering where Killer B was leading him.

"We're going with the flow now shut up and row." Killer B rapped badly.

"Right." Kankuro replied, reminding himself that Killer B was probably the most bearable out of Naruto's Ramen obsession and Orochimaru's lust for experimenting on people. "So what can these people do? I know they're called wizards and they use something called magic, but how well can they fight?"

"They use a light with all their might, it comes out their sticks and it really sticks." Killer B rapped terribly.

"I could have gone my whole life without having pictured what you rapped." Kankuro said, feeling sick by the mental image that he got from the rap.

The ringing of the school bell stopped Kankuro and Killer B in their tracks. Noticing that the students were leaving their classrooms, Kankuro was surprised at what they were discussing.

Harry grinned as he walked out of the defence against the dark arts class. Although the class had started off bad and the teacher had all but called him a liar, when she had tried to kick Naruto out of the classroom, Naruto refused.

"That was bloody brilliant." Ron said. "Do you think he could teach us how to do that?"

"I'm not sure Ron, he's already done things that I've never seen a wizard do." Hermione replied.

Walking down the hallway without paying attention, Harry almost collided with Killer B. "Oh, sorry, I almost bumped into you... again." Harry apologised. "If you're looking for Naruto, he's in the classroom over there." Harry said, pointing towards the classroom he just exited.

"Friends of your?" Kankuro asked Killer B, wondering how the three teens standing in front of him knew Killer B.

"They were in the house, stuck like a mouse." Killer B rapped.

"You know what, let's go to the meeting point, I'm not understanding a thing you're saying and the things I do understand, I don't want to." Kankuro said.

* * *

With Naruto and Kurotsuchi

'Crap, crap, crap.' Naruto thought as he raced down the hallway. Looking back, Naruto saw the thing he was fleeing from.

"Come back here Uzumaki, I just want to play." Kurotsuchi yelled as she threw a handful of shuriken at him.

"I said I was sorry, what more do you want from me?" Naruto yelled back.

"I want you to bleed." Kurotsuchi replied.

"What did I even do to deserve this?" Naruto asked as he sped down the hallway.

"You put a seal on me." Kurotsuchi roared, throwing more kunai and shuriken at Naruto.

"It doesn't even do anything, it's just there to look cool." Naruto said, trying to explain himself.

"I love Ramen does not look cool." Kurotsuchi roared, throwing a kunai at Naruto's leg.

Naruto let out a yelp as the kunai pierced his calf. Working through the pain, he sped up as he took a sharp left turn, not knowing that someone was walking down the hallway at that time. Crashing into someone, Naruto grabbed the person he crashed into and jumped to the ceiling to continue his run.

"What the. Put me down now." Snape sneered.

"Looking at the man he was holding, Naruto recognised him as the man that led them to their rooms the night before. "Sorry, no can do, I'm currently fleeing from someone and I can't stop now." Naruto replied as he hopped back down to the floor.

Ignoring the teachers protest, Naruto continued to flee and Kurotsuchi continued to throw kunai at him. Turning down another hallway, Naruto quickly created a shadow clone to continue fleeing as he hid himself in a spare classroom. Placing his hand over the teachers mouth to keep Kurotsuchi from hearing where they were, Naruto waited for Kurotsuchi to pass before allowing the man to stand again. "Sorry about bumping into you." Naruto apologised.

Snape stared at Naruto for a few moments, as if contemplating something, before silently leaving the classroom.

"I wonder what that was about." Naruto thought aloud, looking down, he noticed he still had a kunai in his leg. Grabbing the kunai, he ripped it out of his leg, before placing the kunai in his pocket. "May as well get to the main hall, I'm sure Kurotsuchi will find her way there back when she pops my shadow clone."

Sneaking down the hallway, Naruto quickly made his way back to the main hall. With a sigh, Naruto was surprised to find that the main hall was filled with students eating lunch, spotting Orochimaru and Chojuro sitting with the Weasley twins, Naruto decided to investigate.

"Oi, why are you two sitting there?" Naruto asked.

"H...Hello Naruto-san, Orochimaru and I were invited to sit here. If I may ask, why is there blood on your leg?" Chojuro asked, noticing the small amount of blood staining Naruto's pants.

"I may have pissed off Kurotsuchi." Naruto muttered.

"That still doesn't explain why you are bleeding Naruto-kun." Orochimaru butted in. "You should have easily been able to overpower Kurotsuchi should she have attacked you."

"It was one of Jiraiya's teachings." Naruto said, scratching the whisker mark on his cheek. "He said something about how some chicks like to cause pain to people and beating you will make them want to beat you. I don't really understand what he meant by that, but every time Sakura punched me, she seemed happier." Naruto explained.

Orochimaru sighed. "I should have known." Orochimaru muttered. "Jiraiya, just what did you teach your student." He continued.

"Oi Naruto, why is there a trail of blood leading to you?" Kankuro asked, having seen the blood trail from his seat. "Turn around, Naruto." Kankuro said, having noticed a small amount of blood drip from behind Naruto.

Shrugging, Naruto turned around, revealing that his back had been littered with numerous kunai and shuriken.

"Crickey mate, you should go see Madam Pomfrey immediately, that looks kind of serious." Fred said.

"Naruto... do you even know how to dodge?" Kankuro asked, wondering how it was possible someone could have so many kunai in their back and not be aware of it.

"Why, what's wrong?" Naruto asked, moving his left hand behind him, Naruto felt the numerous bladed weapons sticking in his back. "Shit, that's a lot... Kankuro, buddy, could you help a friend out and get these things out of my back."

Kankuro sighed, before leading Naruto out of the main hall. "I haven't even been here for half a day and I have to help remove kunai from Naruto's back. Yeah, this mission is going to be sooo much fun."

* * *

An: There you have it, chapter 10, I hope you enjoyed it, it was certainly tough to write it. please favorite, follow and review if you feel like it. I'm not sure how many of you know this, but I have a few other stories up, if you feel like it, take a look, I'm not sure, but you might enjoy it.


	11. Chapter 11

_I'm B-B-B-B-B-Back, baby, my name's Dr. Rockzo, the rock and roll clown and I do cocain._

 **No, bad clown, back to your corner.**

 _You can't keep me back here forever, baby, I'll be back, you'll see._

 **Damn, that clown's really a handful, now where was I, I'm B-B-B-B-B-Back baby, my name's Kir c, the fanfiction author and I do green tea**... it doesn't work, does it, I knew it.

Anyway, I would like to say thank you to all of you, you've all been so supportive and helped me through some tough times last year, thank you, I'm doing much better this year, my friend had a kid, I went to my sisters Harry Potter themed wedding and walked her down the isle, I stood 3 meters away from a fully grown lion with a thin electric fence between us, I have to say, the way that lion was looking at the top of the fence, I could just see it jumping the fence, hell, the fence was only half a meter taller than I am and if that lion stood on its hind legs, it would have been as tall as me, not sure why I'm mentioning that, but I am, Haha, I'm now looking forward to my other sisters wedding and a few other things. In other news, I found out that my old boss got in trouble because he wasn't paying his workers properly, his business closed for a few months, I'm glad I didn't continue working for him, he probably would have done the same to me.

I have a note at the end of this chapter that I think could interest you, it's to do with after I'm finished this story, or during, who knows? A certain rock and roll clown, that's who.

Thank you to all those that reviewed, followed and favourited this story, even after so long without updates, now, onto chapter 11, I think, I hope you enjoy reading it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter, then again, maybe if I think I do, I will.

* * *

 **Chapter 11: Lab experiment**

It was a peaceful day in the land of Ramen, the birds were chirping happily, the people were peacefully debating which favour of Ramen, before coming to the conclusion that all Ramen is equal. Naruto let out a content sigh as he relaxed in his personal, noodle themed hot spring, being the Ramen pope was a great job, he got to eat all the ramen he wanted, drink all the broth, try all the new ramen recipes... yeah, it was great, although he did kind of miss those that rebelled against Ramen Law... no matter, their reprogramming would be done by the end of the week, he might as well just relax and wait for the Ramen priestess who had promised him a surprise in the very hot spring he was now relaxing in.

Feeling water splash his face, Naruto was immediately on the defensive. "Who dares to disturbed the Ramen pope... oh, hey Ero-sennin, what's up." Naruto waved to Jiraiya. "You know, you shouldn't jump into a hot spring... and you shouldn't wear all your clothes either, maybe shorts or a towel."

"There's no time to waste, brat." Jiraiya replied, wading through the water as he headed towards Naruto. "You have to wake up, it's a matter of dire importance." Lifting the half nude Naruto out of the hot spring, Jiraiya began to shake him violently. "Wake up, brat, come on, if you don't, you'll regret it."

"Get off me, Ero-sennin." Naruto said, breaking free from Jiraiya's grip. "Now, I would love to help you with what troubles you, but you will have to make an appointment with my secretary, now go away, the Ramen priestess could be here any minute and I'm looking forward to my surprise." Sitting back in the hot spring, Naruto made a shooing motion with his hand.

"Rude little brat, here I am, trying to give you a little advice and save you from a fate I once met and you're just shooing me like that." Jiraiya grumbled.

"Your advice got me a three hour lecture from Kankuro, like hell I'm going to listen to you again." Naruto commented... He didn't want to get another lecture from Kankuro and the importance professionalism and dodging weapons.

"My advice is worth more than the Shodaime's necklace, either Kankuro must be a prude or you remembered it wrong." Jiraiya shot back.

"I didn't remember it wrong... you said that some women cause pain and beating you may lead to beating you." Naruto argued, scratching the back of his head as he struggle to remember the advice.

Jiraiya paused to process what Naruto had just said, something... everything about that sentence was wrong. "Idiot." Jiraiya bonked Naruto on his head. "I said that some women are sadists and they get off on causing pain, thus when they cause you pain, they may be inclined to beat you off." Taking a few deep breaths, Jiraiya calmed himself. "Oh, what does it matter, it's already too late, you've already met the terrible fate that befell me once."

"W...Wha." Naruto muttered, not sure of what to make of what Jiraiya was talking about.

Placing his hand on Naruto's shoulder, Jiraiya suddenly gained a sad, sympathetic look. "Naruto, with what comes next, just know that I won't look at you differently." Watching Naruto fade from his dream, Jiraiya sat down in the hot spring. "My poor, poor disciple."

"Naruto-sama, I'm here for your surprise... you're not Naruto-sama, where is he." A dark haired woman dressed in a blue, skimpy dress asked.

Catching sight of the woman, Jiraiya withheld a whistle... why did she seem so familiar, the colour of her hair, her eyes, her facial structure... he had seen them somewhere, but where... where... "Naruto, you motherfucker." Jiraiya grinned as he realised who was standing in front of him. "Why hello there Mikoto, I'm afraid that Naruto isn't here right now, but he said that I can have his surprise in place of him."

Mikoto studied Jiraiya's face, looking for any sign of a lie before nodding in acceptance. "Very well, if Naruto-sama wishes me to give his surprise to you, then that is what I must do. Please remove all your clothing and get out of the hot spring."

Jiraiya grinned, he couldn't believe it, Naruto was a pervert, just like him. Following Mikoto's instructions, Jiraiya soon found himself standing in front of Mikoto, completely naked. "So, do you want me to take your clothes off or will you be removing them yourself."

"Please don't talk, there will be a better use for your mouth momentarily." Mikoto replied. Producing a piece of cloth from behind her back, Mikoto began to blindfold Jiraiya.

"Naruto, you perverted bastard, you make me so proud." Jiraiya muttered as Mikoto bound his hands behind his back.

"And we're done." Mikoto announced. "You can bring it in now." She called.

Hearing the sound of something being wheeled into the hot spring along with the splashing sound of water, Jiraiya could only grin, just what pervy thing could Naruto imagine... I mean, he already thought of bondage, blindfolding and Mikoto Uchiha, Sasuke's mom... Jiraiya couldn't wait to find out what else Naruto fantasised about.

"Now, Jiraiya, I told you that your mouth would be necessary for this part." Mikoto whispered into Jiraiya's ear. "Yes, your mouth will be your only weapon in this, your hands and feet are bound, so you will not be able to move fast and you will have nothing to fight with, but your mouth." Her voice growing fainter as she moved further away from Jiraiya

"Oh, I think I know what you're talking about." Jiraiya muttered, ready for what would come next. Hearing the water in the hot spring begin to splash, Jiraiya slowly hopped towards the sound until he was standing in the water. Feeling something wrap around his legs, Jiraiya let out a perverted giggle... it seemed that Mikoto was really into bondage, but what was with the rope, it felt weird, kind of sticky.

Feeling more of the sticky rope wrap around him, Jiraiya was beginning to grow curious, why did it feel as if the rope was moving by itself? Why was the rope sticky? Why was it pulling him upwards? Rubbing his face against some of the sticky rope, Jiraiya successfully managed to remove the blindfold. "That's better." Glancing at the rope, Jiraiya found that it was indeed moving by itself, although it didn't look like rope to begin with, it was some type of pale yellow material that really stuck to the skin.

"What the fuck." Jiraiya yelled as the sticky yellow rope lifted him up. Where was Mikoto, what was going on, why was the rope moving? Where was this stick rope coming from... a giant bowl of ramen? The strange sticky rope lifted Jiraiya over the bowl, allowing him to see its source, a giant mass of noodles strung together in a monstrous form, two giant fishcakes for eyes and a mouth, full of pork cutlets for teeth. "OH MYYY GOOOOOOOOOOD." Were Jiraiya's last words before he was swallowed whole.

* * *

Naruto let out a yawn as began to wake up, he didn't know what to make from his last dream, maybe it was because Kankuro lectured him, it could be the weird new food he was eating... fuck it, he was too drowsy to think about why he had such a weird dream.

Bringing his hands to his face in an attempt to rub the sleep from his eyes, Naruto found that his left arm was pinned under something, odd, what could be pinning it... now that he was waking up some more, Naruto realised there was a weight on his chest. Lifting the covers, Naruto found a mass of black hair. "What the hell." Naruto muttered.

Feeling the weight on his chest shift, Naruto watched as the hair moved with it... what the hell was that, was it a creature that stayed in Hogwarts. Using his free hand to poke it, Naruto found it was surprisingly hard for a mass of hair. "Just what the hell are..." Naruto began, but paused when he noticed a single yellow slit eye open from within the mass of hair.

"Naruto-kun." Orochimaru greeted.

* * *

Kankuro was right... he was right, she shouldn't have acted like some academy student, she shouldn't have attempted to stab Naruto and she shouldn't have thrown all those Kunai and Shuriken at him... she definitely shouldn't have chased him through the castle while doing all of the above. What should she do? Well, she knew what she should do, apologise to both Naruto and the client for her childish behaviour, but how does one apologise for attempting to and succeeding in stabbing the saviour of their world. First things first, Kurotsuchi needed to get dressed.

Clad in a towel, Kurotsuchi left the shower cubical she had previously occupied, now where had she left her clothes, she could have sworn she left them on the floor, just outside of her shower cubical. Kurotsuchi was startled from her thoughts when she heard a high pitched scream sound from somewhere in the castle. She did not need this, she needed to get dress and find the source of that scream as soon as possible.

Searching frantically, Kurotsuchi went on the defensive when the bathroom door was kicked off its hinges and a blur of orange and black passed her, heading towards the showers. Cautiously making her way towards the showers, Kurotsuchi found a familiar set of orange and black clothes piled in front of the shower. Moving towards the sound of running water, Kurotsuchi stood just outside of the cubical that Naruto was currently using. "Oi, Naruto, is that you?"

Naruto paused in his furious scrubbing as he heard someone call him. "Kurotsuchi?" Naruto asked.

"Listen, I need to apologise to you for... well... how I treated you yesterday, I realise that I may have overreacted and for that I'm sorry."

"Huh." Naruto grunted. "What are you talking about?" He asked, momentarily forgetting about removing the patch of skin on his chest that Orochimaru was snuggling. "You don't have to apologise, I'm not angry at you, maybe annoyed at Kankuro and his long ass lectures, but not angry."

"You got lectured too?" Kurotsuchi asked, surprise evident in her voice.

"Yeah, he was all like, 'stop acting like an idiot and...'" Naruto began

"Start acting like a ninja." The duo chorused, before bursting into laughter.

"I can't believe that bastard used the same speech on both of us." Kurotsuchi muttered. "So that means we're good, right?"

"Yeah, I was never angry to begin with." Naruto replied, his reason for being in the shower completely forgotten. Hearing his stomach grumble, Naruto rubbed the back of his head. "Kurotsuchi, could you pass my clothes, I...erm... I forgot to bring a towel with me."

"Sure thi... son of a bitch." Kurotsuchi said, finding the spot where Naruto's clothes were sitting empty. "They were there, they were right fucking there."

"Oi, what's going on." Naruto asked.

"It seems... it seems we're going to have to get change back in our rooms." Kurotsuchi replied.

"Shit." The duo chorused.

* * *

 **Five minutes ago.**

The cold air met him as he strode towards his destination, unhindered by the aura of despair and hopelessness... Yes, this was the perfect place to replenish his army, to think that the ministry of magic were so kind as to leave his followers here for him, it truly brought a tear to his eye... well, not really, but it's the thought that counts. Levelling his yew wand at the tower that stood in front of him, he allowed a smirk to come to his face, his reign begins here.

"Merlin's saggy nipples." Harry blurted as he sat up from his bed. What was that, that high pitched noise that sounded as if... well, he wasn't sure what it sounded like, it was high pitched, sure, but it didn't sound like a girl, it might sound like the noise Draco would make if he was squished by a Nundu, but there weren't any Nundu at or around Hogwarts, unless. "Hagrid." Harry muttered, before he fell into his pillows. It was way too early to be dealing with anything Hagrid might have acquired, he'd deal with it in the morning... later, that is.

Closing his eyes, Harry slowly drifted off into sleep, only briefly wondering what was with his weird dream, before falling asleep.

* * *

Morning had finally come and Harry could honestly say that it came too soon, while he had fallen asleep after the weird noise that woke him, his dorm and probably the majority of the castle, his sleep had been anything, but restful, his dreams were filled with darkness, flashing green lights and oddly enough, they were cold, as if they lacked something fundamental to being human.

Harry yawned as he entered the great hall, why did he have to go to class today... maybe he could convince Dumbledore to bring a nap class to Hogwarts... oh, wait, History, did he have nap ti... erm, History today. "Gmorning, Ron, Hermione." Harry mumble as he sat at the table. "Hey, Ron, do we have Hist... what's wrong?" He asked, noticing the grim look on Ron's face.

"It's in the news." Ron began. "There's been mass breakout at Azkaban, apparently a large amount of Death eaters have escaped and the ministry is, well, they're blaming it on Sirius."

"Harry, are you alright?" Hermione asked worriedly.

A cold feeling entered Harry's veins, it was bad enough that Voldemort had reacquired his old followers, what was worse, his innocent godfather was blamed for it and... and the dreams he had last night, dreaming that he was in a cold place with a yew wand, that was Voldemort. No, this can't go on, he had to do something. "You guys wait here, there's something a have to do."

Looking towards the table where Hogwart's newist guards sat, Harry found a few were missing, namely Naruto and Orochimaru, but where were they, it didn't matter, he would find them. His surrounding seemed to become a blur as he walked towards the Shinobi's table, should he be doing this, was this the right choice, Harry shook his head, right now, it seemed this was the only choice that truly was his.

"Yo little man, what can I do for you fam?" Killer B asked, spewing a small amount of scrambled egg that he was eating.

"Um, good morning Killer B, I need to ask you a favour." Harry replied, wiping some egg off his chest.

"Well spit it out, don't be in doubt." Killer B rapped.

Harry took a moment to decipher Killer B's rap, before replying."Um, right, could you take me to Orochimaru, I need to talk to him."

* * *

Naruto sighed as he waited in front Orochimaru's new lab, truthfully, he wasn't worried about the experiments Orochimaru would run on him, no, he wasn't worried, but he didn't want to see Orochimaru for a while, especially after waking up to Orochimaru cuddling into his side. Steeling himself, Naruto entered the lab, he had to do this, Gai-sensei's career as a ninja depended on it.

"Ah, Naruto-kun, you've finally decided to enter my Laboratory." Orochimaru greeted, gesturing towards the mostly empty room, with the exception of a few counters lining the room, a metal table sitting in the centre of the room and an elderly looking witch standing in the corner. "It's rather bare, but it will do for now."

"Before we begin." Naruto began.

"You wish to know why I was in your bed." Orochimaru said, voicing the question he knew Naruto had, seeing him nod, Orochimaru decided to explain. "I sleepwalk and like snakes that seek out the warmest place to sleep, I seek out the strongest Chakra I can sense, I assure you that I had no intention of climbing into bed with you." Orochimaru sighed, while it wasn't something he hid, he didn't like to talk about it, he suppressed a shiver as he remembered the time he woke up next to Jiraiya, that was a horrifying experience for both of them, needless to say, that was the last time either of them slept in the nude.

"Well, that and who's that standing in the corner?" Naruto pointed towards the elderly witch, waking Orochimaru from his thoughts.

"I am professor McGonagall." McGonagall introduced herself. "And I am here to ensure that this... experiment doesn't get out of hand."

"Right... sit on the table and pull the sleeve on you left arm up." Orochimaru said, removing a variety of empty vacuum tubes covered in seals.

Pulling his sleeve up, Naruto sat on the metal table in the centre of the room. "So what are we going to test?" Naruto asked as Orochimaru pegged a needle in his arm.

"I will begin by testing your blood and Chakra." Orochimaru replied, attaching an empty vacuum tube to the needle. Once the vacuum tube was filled, Orochimaru removed the tube. "Please enter Sage mode."

The process continued on for a few minutes, Orochimaru asked Naruto to enter one of his Chakra states, Naruto would grumble as he entered the state, Orochimaru would take a blood sample and then Orochimaru would ask Naruto to enter another state.

"Now I would like to test two of your states at the same time." Orochimaru announced, placing the sealed vacuum tubes on one of the empty tables.

"This is gonna be a long d..." Naruto began, but paused when the lab door swung open.

"I've taken you to the clown, don't let him see you frown or he'll steal your crown." Killer B rapped, gesturing towards Orochimaru.

"Don't make up a lie just to make your rap rhyme." Orochimaru scolded Killer B, before turning towards Harry. "Now, Harry-kun, what can I do for you?" He asked, a hungry look entering his eyes as he glanced at Harry's scar.

Harry took a deep breath as he readied himself for the repercussions that would come with his next sentence. "I'm ready to make a deal."

* * *

Well, that's chapter 11, I hope you enjoyed it and I hope I made you laugh with the random scenes I threw in here, please favourite, follow and review.

 _Ke-ke-ke, hello, I told you I would be back, now let me tell you about what Kir c, baby here had been thinking, besides all the porn that is._

 **Get to the point, clown.**

 _Alright baby, Kir C here has a crossover idea with yours truly._

 **Well, actually dethklok, but you would be in it.**

 _A crossover between Harry Potter and Metalocalypse, it's crazy, baby, but then again, maybe that's what all of you want._

 **Well, the idea is Harry being raised by the band and Offdensen, I already have a few scenes in mind, it would mostly be comedy, black comedy and a few moments of seriousness... I like comedy.**

 _Ke-ke-ke, yeah, so after you review this story, tell Kir C here what you think of his idea, he might even post it early if enough of you are interested._

Anyway, thanks for reading, please leave a review and again, I would like to thank all of you for being so supportive and patient.


	12. Chapter 12

Yo every one, sorry for the large gap between updates, but I've been having the most interesting writers block, I got inspired to begin writing a gamer fanfiction and was going to do it for Harry Potter or Trollhunter, sat down in front of my computer and then I wrote a thousand words for my Naruto/Avatar the last airbender fic... So yeah, that was weird.

Anyway, I decided, fuck writers block, and forced myself to write a chapter for this story, I hope it came out alright and that you all enjoy it and I'm very happy to see all the attention this story is getting, even when I don't write a chapter for months, all of you still read and enjoy my stories, thank you, it really means a lot to me.

Onto other news, I created a Ko-fi account under the username of thatkircguy, I would really appreciate it if you supported me there, pretty please with Ko-fi on top. It seems Fanfic is not allowing me to post anything that even appears to be a link, so I won't be able to supply you with one, but you can still easily find my page by googling it, so there's that.

Now, I believe you want to read the next chapter of Hogwarts Overkill, I present you with chapter 12, I hope it's alright.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter and it's a good thing too, could you imagine the nightmares I could give you with... say the image of a naked Hiruzen with Hagrid or Dumbledore.

* * *

Chapter 12: Interview with a ninja

Naruto wasn't having a good day, he began the day waking up to Orochimaru snuggling into his chest and then he had to sneak through Hogwarts in the nude, then, in the morning, Naruto had to deal with Orochimaru again... what he learned about Orochimaru and Jiraiya... Naruto had to stop himself from imagining it, lest he choke on his overly sweet tea.

Now, Naruto found himself seated in a room covered in pink and moving pictures of numerous cats, if one paid attention to the details of the room, they would find a woman who appeared to blend into the room due to the pink clothes she wore.

"Now Naruto, may I call you Naruto?" The sickeningly sweet voice of Deloris Umbridge cut through the room. Not waiting For Naruto's reply, Umbridge continued. "Now Naruto, you know why you're here, don't you?"

"Um, is this about what happened with that Harry kid earlier, or are you talking about the explosion?" Naruto blinked, finding it odd that he replied without thinking.

Umbridge leaned forward with interest "Why don't you start at the beginning and go from there." Umbridge said as she took out a notepad.

"I woke up with Orochimaru in my bed." Blinking again, Naruto attempted to resist what was making him speak without thinking. "He said he was naked with Jiraiya and then I ran through the castle naked." Damnit, today really wasn't his day.

"Oh my." Umbridge muttered. "Err, why don't we begin with what happened between you and the potter brat."

"Right." Naruto resigned himself, lest he say embarrassing things in the wrong context. "Well, I was in Orochimaru's lab and Bee brought Harry in."

* * *

Flashback

"I'm ready to make a deal."

"Mister Potter, I don't know what you think you're doing here, but you will leave this area immediately."

"Professor McGonagall?" Harry asked, wondering what his head of house was doing in Orochimaru's lab. "I'm sorry professor, but I need to talk to Orochimaru, I'll... I'll explain everything later."

"Detention, Mister Potter." McGonagall replied. "Now leave and don't think I will forget about this, you and I will be having words about this later."

"Now see here old lady, Harry ain't no baby, he's picking his path, so you shouldn't unleash your wrath." Bee rapped.

"Old lady?" McGonagall ground out.

"Enough of this." Orochimaru interrupted, bringing the attention of everyone in the room on him. "Now Miss McGonagall, I realise that you are not fond of the idea of young Harry-kun being here, but I would suggest that you allow him to converse with me."

"And why should I do that?" McGonagall shot back.

"Because I feel you will find what Harry-kun has to say to be quite interesting." Orochimaru replied, gesturing towards Harry. Feeling that he had yet to convince McGonagall, Orochimaru continued. "Or perhaps you would rather ignore the influence Voldemort has on Harry." Well, he didn't know if Voldemort had any influence on Harry, but given the similarities between his curse mark and Harry's scar, Orochimaru made an educated guess.

"What does that monster have to do with this?" McGonagall asked, scowling when she heard Voldemorts' name.

"He's... he's in me. There's a piece of Voldemort in me." Harry interrupted, his gaze set on the floor in front of him. "I don't know how or why, but there's a piece of Voldemort in me and it's keeping him alive."

McGonagall's eyes softened at the sight of Harry's nervous form. "Harry, there's no need to worry about such a thing, had such a magic existed, Dumbledore would know and he would have noticed the signs in you."

"Kukuku." Orochimaru chuckled. "I wouldn't be so sure about that."

"And why would that be?" McGonagall asked, glaring at Orochimaru.

"Because Dumbledore asked me not to talk about my curse mark, which is similar in nature to the mark on Harry-kun's head." Orochimaru smirked at the shocked and disbelief on the witch and young wizards face. "He even lied to me when I asked if magic that mimicked my curse mark existed."

"And we should trust you based on what? Your word?" McGonagall asked, her voice becoming cold. "Dumbledore would never withhold such vital information concerning Voldemort, let alone lie about the existence of such magic."

"Unless it serves a purpose." Orochimaru replied.

"And what would the purpose for hiding something so significant?" McGonagall shot back.

"Should Voldemort discover that Dumbledore knows the reason for Voldemort's immortality, surely Voldemort would ensure his survival by protecting his weak points, this being his version of the curse mark." Orochimaru explained.

"But Voldemort has been trying to kill me since day one." Harry interrupted.

"Therein lies a clue, either Voldemort is willing to destroy a part of himself to kill you, or he is unaware of it and should he be aware, he will most likely try to imprison you rather than kill you." Orochimaru replied. "And there is another side both of you have neglected to consider. As I have told you, Harry-kun, the methods to removing a curse mark are via the death of the user, that being you, Harry-kun, the painful method of sealing it and finally simply removing it, your death would be the simplest method to remove it, if Voldemort is as hated as you have made him out to be, could you imagine how many people would opt for the simple route and kill you, without others attempting to kill you, Dumbledore would more time to devote to removing Voldemort from you without worry for assassination attempts coming from all sides." Well, there were darker possibilities for Dumbledore to keep everyone ignorant about the marks true nature, but Orochimaru decided the easiest, most acceptable method would be to play to their image of Dumbledore, who knows, it could even be what Dumbledore intended all along.

"But that would mean... Oh my... And that's why Harry has a connection with Voldemort... but Dumbledore would have..." McGonagall muttered, struggling to come to terms with what Orochimaru had said.

"Dumbledore Knew?" Harry shook his head, he could focus on that later. "You said that you could remove it... that you would remove Voldemort from this mark, but... but you want to study it first. I... I agree to the deal." Harry felt a ball of nervousness in his stomach which grew several times larger when he was the grin on Orochimaru's face.

Extending his hand towards Harry, Orochimaru's grin grew larger when Harry gripped it. "The deal is set. I will study your scar and then remove Voldemorts' presence from it." Orochimaru paused to take a breath. "Have you given any thought to the second part of the deal... To put it simply, who do you want brought back from the dead?"

A loud thump sounded through the room, startling Harry. "What was that?" Harry asked, removing his hand from Orochimaru's grip, Harry grabbed his wand.

"Your teacher fainted." Naruto replied nudging McGonagall's face. "Oi, Orochimaru, are you done studying me today?" Naruto asked, still feeling nauseous over waking up with Orochimaru.

"Yes, I would say that you have given me enough samples to last a good few weeks." Orochimaru commented, happy with the numerous things he would soon learn from Naruto's blood. "Harry-kun, I would like to ask you that you not tell Dumbledore yet, while I feel that he would appreciate the help in removing Voldemort, I believe he would not trust me to examine your scar without his presence and that would hinder my progress in unravelling the secrets of your scar." At Harry's reluctant nod, Orochimaru smirked. "Good, you may leave if you like, I will ask the same thing of McGonagall when she wakes up."

"Great, I'm out of here." Naruto said as he jumped hopped off the metal table.

* * *

A few hours later and Naruto was attempting to whistle as he walked down one of the numerous corridors in Hogwarts, not willing to admit he was lost, Naruto refused to look for someone that knew where he was, you would think that a few dozen shadow clones would have mapped out the entire castle by now, but apparently they missed a few places.

"Brother of mine, is that who I think it is?" Fred asked, having spotted Naruto.

"Me thinks so, what do you suppose two innocent students such as us should do?" George replied, a grin forming on his face.

"We should do what we would to any other that is as lost as this one, _assist them_." Fred added, his own grin threatening to split his face.

Naruto glared at the moving painting on the wall, it was the third time he had passed it and the fifth passage that somehow led back to it, if this continued, he was going to make his own pathway regardless of the numerous walls that stood in his way.

"Naruto, my good chap, how have you been?" Fred asked cheerfully.

"Been good have you? That's good. Say, would you be willing to help us with a little problem we seem to be having?" George continued.

"What kind of problem?" Naruto asked, genuinely interested in what the twins had to say.

"I'm so glad you asked, you see, there's a small problem with one of the classrooms." Fred began.

"And we could use your help in fixing it, if you feel up to it, just follow us." George finished.

"Sure." Naruto grinned, he could follow the twins, help them with their little problem and then he would be free from this infernal hallway.

Following the twins, Naruto found himself returning to a familiar area, soon he found himself standing outside a classroom that his shadow clones had missed.

"We have gone as far as we can go." Fred said dramatically.

"Alas, we cannot enter this room, for it holds an ancient curse." George continued.

"Curse?" Naruto asked, not really sure what the twins were talking about.

"But you could rid us of this terrible curse." Fred ignored Naruto in favour of continuing his dramatic dialogue.

"And all it would take is for you to enter the room, close the door and chant these sacred words loudly. I have a question on the goblin rebellion of 1887." George added

"And the curse will be broken." Fred finished.

"Um, okay, I'll just do that then." Naruto replied, before entering the room.

"This is gonna be good." George muttered as the door closed.

"Oh, I agree, brother." Fred grinned, before casting a locking charm on the door.

The twins swiftly placed their ears against the door in a bid to hear as much as they could.

Closing the door to the classroom, Naruto frowned, the room looked like it was used just a few minutes ago, shrugging, he decided to do as the twins had told him. "Um, I have a question on the goblin rebellion of 1887."

"I'll be with you in just a second." Naruto heard an extremely monotonous voice announce.

Naruto wondered why such a bland statement would break a curse, but ultimately decided that wizards were just weird like that. Noticing something moving in the room, Naruto paled when he realised what it was. "G...G...G... GHOST." In his rush to escape the room, Naruto missed the door, instead he went straight through the wall, leaving behind a large hole.

Rushing down the hallway, Naruto all but ignored anything that stood in his way, choosing to go through it rather than avoid it, luckily there were very few students that wanted to hang around Binns classroom, but there were still a large amount of walls that were damaged in Naruto's manly retreat.

Flashback end

* * *

"And that basically covers the incident earlier." Naruto finished. "I got a few extra details from my shadow clones that were following me and making my day harder."

Writing down the details that Naruto had provided her, Umbridge grinned. "Thank you, Naruto, you have been most helpful." Umbridge said. "Let's see here, illegal experimentation, illegal dealings with a minor, illegal promises to perform a necromantic ritual, conspiracy, property damage to a school, endangerment of a school full of minors. Yes, I believe this will be enough to have all you guards and Dumbledore arrested."

"I don't think that's going to happen." Naruto replied honestly.

"Are you referring to my use of truth serum, because there is enough illegal activity here to overlook my use of Veritaserum." Umbridge grinned, there was nothing that could stop her now.

"No." Naruto shook his head. "I'm referring to Orochimaru that's been standing behind you for the last five minutes."

Umbridge didn't have time to respond, before she lost consciousness courtesy of Orochimaru's hand tapping a nerve on the back of her head. "What an interesting thing, what did she call it, Veritaserum... It's a pity I can't ask her directly. I will have to alter her memories of this impromptu interrogation."

"Wait, you can do that... Of course you can, you removed Sasori's influence from Kabuto." Naruto began, before answering his own question.

"Ah yes, you're still under its effects, I wonder why your body hasn't completely rejected its effects yet, surely the Kyuubi would have burnt it out of your system by now." Orochimaru wondered.

"Kurama's napping." Naruto blurted out.

"I see... don't drink anymore of that tea, I will study it after taking care of Umbridges' memories." Orochimaru replied, momentarily taking note of the Kyuubi's name, before getting to the matter at hand.

* * *

And that's chapter 12, I hope you enjoyed it, I had a few other scenes in mind for this chapter, like Umbridge meeting Kurama or maybe how Naruto came to a stop from his manly retreat, but ultimately I decided to end it here... Hmmm, maybe I'll have those scenes in an Omake in future chapters, Hell, I even had a funny idea for Harry's trial.

If you're wondering why Orochimaru said Dumbledore was lying, there is a hint in one of the previous chapters... Orochimaru talked about his curse mark and Dumbledore asked him to not mention it again, I think it was chapter 2 or maybe 3.

Anyway, please favourite, follow and review this story, you wouldn't believe how much it motivates me.


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